Press releases from the ARU Media Unit

[Bruce Ross]

Bruce, where is your signature quote taken from?

Catriona, it's part of what Iain Payten (@iainpayten) posted on Twitter on May 29 as an instruction to one of his followers. It relates to my post on Jamie Pandaram which apparently caused mass outrage at News Ltd.

When I thought of using it as my signature I went back to Twitter to confirm its wording but it had apparently been deleted. But being a cunning old bastard I Googled "moron bruce ross" and there it was preserved for my descendants to find at some distant point in the future and wonder at - or nod their heads in agreement at.

I've decided to wear it as a badge of honour.
.

 

[Braveheart81]

The tweet is still there. I just had a look at it. You just have to go to the bottom of his twitter page and get it to reload older tweets a couple of times.

https://twitter.com/iainpayten/status/207263380392787968

 

[Sandpit Fan]

Catriona, it's part of what Iain Payten (@iainpayten) posted on Twitter on May 29 as an instruction to one of his followers. It relates to my post on Jamie Pandaram which apparently caused mass outrage at News Ltd.

When I thought of using it as my signature I went back to Twitter to confirm its wording but it had apparently been deleted. But being a cunning old bastard I Googled "moron bruce ross" and there it was preserved for my descendants to find at some distant point in the future and wonder at - or nod their heads in agreement at.

I've decided to wear it as a badge of honour.
.

Good on you Bruce.

If someone has a screenshot prior to deletion, it would make a quality entry for the social pages, if for no other reason than to illustrate that one doesn't need to know anything about common capitalisation rules to be a journalist these days. The irony of a News Corp employee carrying on in such a fashion after the recent revelations about the organisations ethics and approach to journalism is priceless.

 

[redstragic]

Bruce, You got this type of reaction once, any chances of hunting bigger game? Grumbles et al.

 

[Braveheart81]

Bruce, You got this type of reaction once, any chances of hunting bigger game? Grumbles et al.

I don't think Grumbles has an internet connection on his typewriter.

 

[Bruce Ross]

Bruce, You got this type of reaction once, any chances of hunting bigger game? Grumbles et al.

Fairfax journos never react to me using them as comment fodder. I continually rubbish Scoop Growden, Spiro Zavas and Matthew Burke but they don't seem to mind or don't know I exist.
.

 

[Moses]

Good on you Bruce.

If someone has a screenshot prior to deletion, it would make a quality entry for the social pages, if for no other reason than to illustrate that one doesn't need to know anything about common capitalisation rules to be a journalist these days. The irony of a News Corp employee carrying on in such a fashion after the recent revelations about the organisations ethics and approach to journalism is priceless.

One would think that as a Daily Telegraph journalist morons would be his target audience

 

[Sandpit Fan]

One would think that as a Daily Telegraph journalist morons would be his target audience

I'll pay that..

 

[Cat_A]

Is it nitpicky of me to point out that he called Bruce the moron, yet failed to use the punctuation standards one might reasonably expect of someone who writes professionally? I understand the twitter 140 character limit, but using capitals on someone's name doesn't expend extra characters...

 

[Moses]

He even got the bit in quotes wrong, it's "10:3:1", a ratio as opposed to an index reference

 

[Bruce Ross]

Is it nitpicky of me to point out that he called Bruce the moron, yet failed to use the punctuation standards one might reasonably expect of someone who writes professionally? I understand the twitter 140 character limit, but using capitals on someone's name doesn't expend extra characters...

He even got the bit in quotes wrong, it's "10:3:1", a ratio as opposed to an index reference

Maybe he should get a subbie to edit his tweets.
.

 

[Scarfman]

Hello Greg. Hello Iain.

 

[Hugh Jarse]

Bruce, You got this type of reaction once, any chances of hunting bigger game? Grumbles et al.

Is there any real challenge in hunting Grumbles?

Somehow I just can't get the Dead Parrot sketch out of my head in relation to Grumbles.
" Mr. Praline: "VOOM"?!? Mate, this Parrot wouldn't "voom" if you put four million volts through it! 'E's bleedin' demised! "

 

[redstragic]

I don't know, getting Scoop Grumbles to pull the levers on his steam driven pnematic interwebs machine in acknowledgement of Bruce would surely be up there with getting named on the Queens Birthday honours list.

 

[Cat_A]

Qantas Wallabies named for second Bledisloe test

8/23/2012
By Qantas Wallabies Media Unit

Queensland Reds halfback Will Genia will captain Australia for the second time after the Qantas Wallabies team for the second Test of The Castrol EDGE Rugby Championship against the All Blacks was named today.

Hey - you used second twice in a sentence! I assume you did that on purpose? Genius. I admire the way you can shove so many short words into an awkward sentence. I love that your sentences have 4 different pieces of information. And I LOVE that you don't use any punctuation to separate these clauses out. And it's quite an achievement to have a 33-word sentence without ANY punctuation at all!

I think the way you force us to read and re-read a sentence to understand its meaning and relevance is inspired. It makes me wonder why all those other resources say that Media Releases should be readable and concise...

But if I had been asked to re-write this bit for the great unwashed media who don't understand good literature I would've said:

Queensland Reds halfback Will Genia has been named at captain to play the All Blacks in the second Test of The Castrol Edge Rugby Championship at Eden Park. This will be his second game starting as captain.

The elevation of Genia, and the inclusion of the promising Brumbies flanker Michael Hooper in the starting line-up, are both a consequence of the knee cartilage injury which has ruled out the previous Wallabies stand in skipper, David Pocock.

Ha ha - good one -cos he's short! I do feel for Michael Hooper though. The way you buried his run-on debut in a sentence which is really about two other people is a shame. I am relieved you used punctuation in this sentence though.


And I would argue that that "the consequence" here is for David Pocock who was ruled out as a consequence of his knee cartilage injury; for clarity you should have David Pocock mentioned before the knee cartilage.

Genia, who led the Qantas Wallabies for the first time against the United States at last year’s Rugby World Cup, becomes Australia’s third skipper for the year, after the initial incumbent James Horwill was injured on the eve of the June Test window.

You know what? It sounds like the injured captain woes are a significant part of the article. Do you think they deserve an independent sentence or two? Are you sure you need to allude to them across two awkwardly constructed and disjointed sentences?

He will team for the first time this Test season with flyhalf Quade Cooper, who makes his long-awaited return following a serious knee injury at last year’s Rugby World Cup.

Cooper last featured for the Wallabies in the Bronze Final which was played at Saturday night’s Test venue: Auckland’s Eden Park.

Arguably, Quade Cooper made his long-awaited return from a knee injury when he played for Queensland. I admire your effort to toe the party-line that QC (Quade Cooper) wasn't selected because he's still recovering from injury, but what you've said is just incorrect. I will, however, give bonus points for finally finding somewhere to shove the Eden Park thing.

I also think the link between Genia and Cooper could be more elegant. I'll give it a bash, only I'm going to try to re-word all the lot. Oh, and because the first paragraph in a media release should include the "where", I've put the Eden Park reference in my first paragraph.

Here goes:
Genia is the Wallabies' third captain for the year. He assumes the captaincy from David Pocock, who sustained damage to his knee cartilage. Pocock himself was standing in as captain for James Horwill who was injured on the eve of the June Test window.

Genia will partner with flyhalf Quade Cooper, who returns to the Wallaby side for the first time since the Bronze medal match at last year's Rugby World Cup where he sustained a knee injury.

The return of Cooper shifts Berrick Barnes out one place in the backline to inside centre. Barnes retains the goal-kicking duties after an impressive run of form which has seen him kick 19 of 23 attempts in Test matches this year, including five from five in the year’s first clash with the All Blacks

This is just clumsy and it sounds like you're trying to sound smarter by using more words. You could change "the return of Cooper" to "Cooper's return", and you could make the kicking stats easier to distinguish from the text as it is now.


So my version would read:
Cooper's return shifts Berrick Barnes to inside centre. Barnes retains the goal-kicking duties after an impressive run of form; he kicked five from five against the All Blacks last weekend, and he has kicked 19 from 23 for the Wallabies this year.

Another backline change sees the versatile Adam Ashley-Cooper switch from wing to fullback. The experienced NSW Waratahs winger Drew Mitchell takes up the position vacated by his former house-mate, Ashley-Cooper, on the right wing.
Mitchell, who last appeared for Australia against Russia at the Rugby World Cup, was an un-used substitute on the bench last week.

In a team announcement, who gives a shit that AAC (Adam Ashley-Cooper) and Mitchell used to live together? The fact that you've used past-tense means that it's not newsworthy, and I'm not sure their former cohabitation is relevant. You may as well say "Mitchell, who has surprisingly small feet.." or "AAC (Adam Ashley-Cooper), who enjoyed eating noodles as a child" for the same nett result.

And is it so bad to continue the format of the rest of the media release: announce who has come into the side and then the position they have taken? Doing it the other way around suddenly interrupts the rhythm of the article (further, that is). I mean, it's just so inelegant!


How about:
Drew Mitchell has been named on the wing, moving the versatile Adam Ashley-Cooper moving to fullback. Mitchell, who last appeared for Australia against Russia at last year's Rugby World Cup, stayed on the bench last week.

The selectors have opted to hold off finalising the bench due to an injury concern and will finalise the make-up of the run on reserves once the side arrives in Auckland tonight. 25 players will travel in the Qantas Wallabies party which leaves Sydney this afternoon.

Why did you choose to put this here? Because in the article structure you've gone Major changes -> backs -> bench-> forwards -> All Blacks. Could we not have put the bench after where we talk about the forwards? That way the structure would almost align with the team sheet.

The two changes to the starting forward pack from last week’s opening Bledisloe Cup Test have both been forced by injury, with Brumbies front-ranker Ben Alexander slotting in at tighthead for Sekope Kepu, while Hooper runs from Pocock’s spot on the openside flank.
45 words! 1 sentence! A new PB!!

Hooper will oppose All Black skipper Richard McCaw for the first time as the Brumbies didn’t face the Crusaders during Fx Pro Super Rugby this year. It will also be the first time at Eden Park for last year’s Australian Under-20 Player of the Year, who will be figuring in his fourth Test after making his debut at Newcastle earlier in June.
This weekend’s assignment represents his first starting role in Tests.

Ummmmm - what's a front-ranker? And is Richie McCaw last year's Australian U20 Player of the year? Because his name is the closest to the description.

And in year 9 English I learned to put the important bit (also called "the subject"!) of a sentence at the beginning of it, not after 20 (!) words like in the first sentence of this block. Because injury (the subjective noun) has forced (the verb) changes (the objective noun)....


And if the Brumbies didn't face the Crusaders, why put that bit in? More irrelevant shit.

How about this instead:
Injury has forced two changes in the starting forward pack. Michael Hooper comes in for the injured Pocock at openside flanker, and Ben Alexander slots in at tighthead for Sekope Kepu.


Hooper, last years Australian U20 Player of the Year, earns his fourth Test cap - and first start - after making his debut against Scotland in June. He faces All Black skipper Richie McCaw for the first time.

After coming off the bench last weekend, Stephen Moore, who will be on the bench again, is poised to achieve a notable milestone in Auckland, where he will make his 72nd Test appearance if he is again required to enter the game as a substitute.
45 words! Record equalling!


Moore’s next appearance would tie Jeremy Paul as the most capped hooker in the history of Australian Rugby. He made his 100th appearance in Fx Pro Super Rugby earlier in the year during the final qualifying round of that competition.

Or to use YOUR vernacular:
After using a 45-word sentence earlier in the article, the Wallabies Media Unit, who is writing this drivel also, is poised to achieve a notable milestone in this paragraph, where it will make a 46th word if they were again required to expand a contracted word.

You must be shitting me. That is actually the worst sentence of them all. And that says a LOT!
I think this would be clearer:
Stephen Moore has been named on the bench. He is poised to equal Jeremy Paul, on 72 caps, as the most-capped hooker in the history of Australian rugby should he take the field.

This is a year of milestones for Moore; he made his 100th Super Rugby appearance in the final qualifying round of the FxPro Super Rugby Competition.


Aaaahhhhhh that's better!

 

[daz]

Who votes for Cat as GAGR Editor-In-Chief, or alternatively, Chief of the GAGR Grammer Police?

A show of hands, if you please.

Anyone willing to second the motion?

 

[Richo]

Love your work, Cat.

 

[Swat]

 

[Cat_A]

Who votes for Cat as GAGR Editor-In-Chief, or alternatively, Chief of the GAGR Grammer Police?

A show of hands, if you please.

Anyone willing to second the motion?

Aaaawww thanks guys!

I quite like "Editor-In-Chief" - makes me like the Ita Buttrose of GAGR

Incidentally, theirs: 523 words, mine: 262 words

 

[It is what it is]

Aaaawww thanks guys!

I quite like "Editor-In-Chief" - makes me like the Ita Buttrose of GAGR

Just be thankful Kerry P isn't still around.