New Zealand Rugby Team Watch

[KevinO]

Bledisloe 2020 4 Match Review


9 TJ Perenara. cant remember a time when 1 single AB player has so fucked up the machinations on attack and been solely responsible for so, so much shit getting fucked up. That moment late when, AGAIN, overly keen to do it all, he reached in early to a ruck forming and promptly managed to somehow conspire to kick the fucking ball onto his own hand and knock it on thus killing yet another attacking move stone cold dead had me SCREEEEEEAAMING at the telly GET HIM OFFFFFFFF

Is and has always been the most overated half back, great player when his team is carving up the opposition. Loses games when they are tight.

If I was his coach, he would be writing lines on a chalkboard, "I will not take a quick tap again". In his own 22 with a penalty, takes a quick tap, makes 5-10 meters and kicks the ball out 30-40 meters down the field for a Wallabies throw. It does not matter if the BB or JB penalty kick was only 30-40 meters from the pen it's still an All blacks throw, instead he gave possession back when his side had just been under pressure close to the goal line.

 

[KiwiM]

Jordie is a much better fullback than his brother. He also has 10 kg weight advantage over Beauden. Much better in the air, longer stronger pass, more powerful/more accurate boot. Jordie also has far superior defensive statistics over the last 2 seasons. He's a ruthlessly efficient defender, see his try saving tackle on Koroibete in Sydney.

Based on Super Rugby Aotearoa form yes but not based on their AB tests in 2020. Beaudy's two performances at 15 have been far superior to Jordie's one start at 15. There's question marks over Jordie's acceleration and positional play at 15 in test rugby.

 

[Dan54]

Just been watching the U85 Kgs final on sky (I love 24hr rugby channel) , and think it a great idea, keeps a lot of players in game having this division of rugby and having a national comp.

 

[zer0]

Ian Foster currently has an AB's head coaching record of 2-2-1. At best he will end his first season with a 50% winning record (3-2-1). If they don't win against their second test against Argentina then that will drop to 33%. For comparisons sake, the first year records for the post '99 AB coaches:

Smith (2000) went 7-3 for 70%
Mitchell (2001/2002*) went 11-2-1 for 79%
Henry (2004) went 9-2 for 82%
Hansen (2012) went 12-1-1 for 86%
Hansen (2016**) went 13-1 for 93%

* Technically he started on the 2001 EOYT so included those matches, without them he's 8-2-1 in 2002
** Included because it's basically a new team

Sure the virus would've impacted proceedings but Australia were impacted too, and I'd say the two were on a level footing there. Argentina, on the other hand, had nowhere near the same level of preparation and had a herculean effort just to be able to play.

EDIT: Regardless of the result, 2020 is, statistically, the worst AB's season since 1998 when they went 2-5. The next closest worst season is 2000's 7-3 effort. A loss wouldn't drop the percentage below 1998's 28%, but would be close, and would be the same number of wins for the season (2).

 

[Dismal Pillock]

LET THIS THE PUBLIC REGISTER SHOW THAT THESE ARE THE NAMES OF THE INDIVIDUALS RESPONSIBLE FOR GUIDING THE NEW ZEALAND RUGBY FOOTBALL ALL BLACKS TO THEIR FIRST EVER LOSS TO ARGENTINA.

MAY HISTORY FOREVER JUDGE THEM AND SHOW NO MERCY UPON THEIR DEAD SOULS.

1. Moody. Good old tenured Moody. He's back, he'll save us. However, as Arg just showed us all too effectively, if you dont play with any FEROCITY whatsoever youre not just a passenger you're a fucking liability. #no_scrums_till_the_31st minute
2. Coles: Lost his rag.
3. Lomax. Again, barely wanted to know. Totally owned.
4. S Whitelock. slogged away in the knackers yard.
5 Pat T. Back to tentative paper tiger. Also OWNED. 12-year old Vaai was WAY more into it during his 2-minute cameo.
6 Crossword Frizzle. "Grrr, he's fired up! Look at him getting into the fisticuffs!" Fucking useless passenger. Is he a league convert or something? Just doesnt seem to have the instant decision making instincts
7 Cane. Turns out this guy is the captain
8 Ardie. LOL. OWNED.
9 Afterdavid. Seemed about 90% more fired up playing SRA for the landers.
10. Mounga LOL
12/13 Goodhue/ALB "Very solid defensive pairing". Well, the fucken better be cos they sure as fuck aint bringing any game breaking abilities to the table.
11 CClarke. soon got him worked out
14 Jordie: LOL 0/10.
15 BB: kick it away, not my problem now, just dont get hurt before that big Japanese payday, ching ching motherfuckers

 

[rodha]

NZ working on emulating that 2015-2019 RWC cycle Springbok plan:

1. Finish third at the previous WC.
2. Hire a new coach that a lot of fans have misgivings about.
3. Produce historic defeats and the worst results in history (when last did an All Black head coach have a 40% win rate btw?).
4. Fire coach halfway through the WC cycle.
5. Bring in new coach (Robertson) who produces great results.
6. Win the RWC???

 

[Dctarget]

Will Fozzie be here next year?

 

[waiopehu oldboy]

^ unless he quits, yes as he's contracted for 2021 & NZR (a) probably can't afford to pay out Foster, Plumtree et al's contracts (hard to imagine Foster's successor not wanting to bring in assistants of his choosing) & (b) sacking him would be tantamount to admitting he shouldn't have been appointed in the first place & that's not likely to happen.

 

[Dismal Pillock]

^ unless he quits, yes as he's contracted for 2021 & NZR (a) probably can't afford to pay out Foster, Plumtree et al's contracts (hard to imagine Foster's successor not wanting to bring in assistants of his choosing) & (b) sacking him would be tantamount to admitting he shouldn't have been appointed in the first place & that's not likely to happen.

How about when push really comes to shove though? I'm talking about the unthinkable. The AB's just keep losing. It's not like they ever looked like winning the match last night. Or even coming close to scoring a try except in garbage time.

"The unthinkable has happened. The All Blacks have opened the 2021 season with 6 straight losses. This comes on the heels of losing their last 3 matches in 2020 on the trot. Head coach Ian Foster remains unruffled. 'Yeah, it's a bit of a pickle isn't it? Still, my lifestyle block is paid off and i'm really looking forward to getting back down there to put my feet up for the 8 month off-season on full pay. It's just a game".

ps where does Fozzies cheerleader Dan54 stand on this? Still backing the NZRFU suits come hell and high water? ANSWER ME DANIEL. What does it take to get you fired up visa visor coaching/playing selections? I WANT BLOOOOOOOOD

 

[waiopehu oldboy]

^ if 2021 turns to shit they just can his arse at e.o.y. review time. Nice & clean, no payout, just gotta hope Razor & Brown haven't signed up for anyone in the meantime.

 

[Dismal Pillock]

^ unless he quits, yes as he's contracted for 2021 & NZR (a) probably can't afford to pay out Foster, Plumtree et al's contracts

They're lucky I didnt have a part to play on honing that goddamn contractual fine print.

"Pursuant to clause 61b, if the New Zealand Rugby Football National Coaching Staff are decreed to have brought great shame upon the nation through cataclysmic losses and no semblance of a Plan B on the field this voids all reimbursement clauses pertaining to financial renumeration for the remainder of said contracts ergo fuck off now please you useless fucken cnuts no bikkies for u."

 

[molman]

^ if 2021 turns to shit they just can his arse at e.o.y. review time. Nice & clean, no payout, just gotta hope Razor & Brown haven't signed up for anyone in the meantime.

Is Razor involved with the Lions? I know there was some chat about him making overtures to Gatland about being keen to be involved.

 

[waiopehu oldboy]

^ I don't think anything came of that.

 

[rodha]

LET THIS THE PUBLIC REGISTER SHOW THAT THESE ARE THE NAMES OF THE INDIVIDUALS RESPONSIBLE FOR GUIDING THE NEW ZEALAND RUGBY FOOTBALL ALL BLACKS TO THEIR FIRST EVER LOSS TO ARGENTINA.

MAY HISTORY FOREVER JUDGE THEM AND SHOW NO MERCY UPON THEIR DEAD SOULS.

1. Moody. Good old tenured Moody. He's back, he'll save us. However, as Arg just showed us all too effectively, if you dont play with any FEROCITY whatsoever youre not just a passenger you're a fucking liability. #no_scrums_till_the_31st minute
2. Coles: Lost his rag.
3. Lomax. Again, barely wanted to know. Totally owned.
4. S Whitelock. slogged away in the knackers yard.
5 Pat T. Back to tentative paper tiger. Also OWNED. 12-year old Vaai was WAY more into it during his 2-minute cameo.
6 Crossword Frizzle. "Grrr, he's fired up! Look at him getting into the fisticuffs!" Fucking useless passenger. Is he a league convert or something? Just doesnt seem to have the instant decision making instincts
7 Cane. Turns out this guy is the captain
8 Ardie. LOL. OWNED.
9 Afterdavid. Seemed about 90% more fired up playing SRA for the landers.
10. Mounga LOL
12/13 Goodhue/ALB "Very solid defensive pairing". Well, the fucken better be cos they sure as fuck aint bringing any game breaking abilities to the table.
11 CClarke. soon got him worked out
14 Jordie: LOL 0/10.
15 BB: kick it away, not my problem now, just dont get hurt before that big Japanese payday, ching ching motherfuckers

I completely agree. Frizell has been so anonymous and passive at test level. You need a real enforcer in that position, someone more in the mould of Tom Robinson. Tough, abrasive, uncompromising.

Even Papali'i would be an improvement at 6. Frizell is a journeyman.

Ideally you'd start big Akira at 6 and Hoskins at 8.

Savea & Cane are too small players to both start. Destroys the balance of the back-row. as did Hooper & Pocock.

 

[Dismal Pillock]

Test 2, do they offer redemption to the losers or punish their abject clueless embarrassing shittiness and look at others?

THE LATTER OF COURSE.

Paper Tiger Pat and Crossword Frizzle can fuck right off. Given a long, hard look and left wanting.

1 Nepo Laulala
2 Coles (SORT YOUR HEAD)
3 Ofa Tuungafasi
4 Tupou Vaa’i
5 Samuel Whitelock
6 Akira Ioane
7 Sam Cane
8 Hoskins Sotutu
9 Aaron Smith
10 Richie Mo’unga
11 Caleb Clarke
12 Laumape (kind of undeserved but the tenured Goodhue has been bog average this season)
13 Anton Lienert-Brown
14 Rieko Ioane (undeserved but ffs)
15 Will Jordan

 

[Brumby Runner]

As an outsider DP, I would also say Jack G hasn't exactly set the world on fire this year, but I'd go further and say ALB has been very ordinary too. Laumape might not be the answer either. Remember he wasn't very effective against a newbie Aussie a week ago and Paisami was having only his first or second run in the 12 jersey.

Anyway, by what hidden and to date completely unknown WR (World Rugby) law that exonerates ABs when suspended by a Judiciary Panel will Ofa be available to play?

 

[Blue]

How about when push really comes to shove though? I'm talking about the unthinkable. The AB's just keep losing. It's not like they ever looked like winning the match last night. Or even coming close to scoring a try except in garbage time.

"The unthinkable has happened. The All Blacks have opened the 2021 season with 6 straight losses. This comes on the heels of losing their last 3 matches in 2020 on the trot. Head coach Ian Foster remains unruffled. 'Yeah, it's a bit of a pickle isn't it? Still, my lifestyle block is paid off and i'm really looking forward to getting back down there to put my feet up for the 8 month off-season on full pay. It's just a game".

ps where does Fozzies cheerleader Dan54 stand on this? Still backing the NZRFU suits come hell and high water? ANSWER ME DANIEL. What does it take to get you fired up visa visor coaching/playing selections? I WANT BLOOOOOOOOD

I think you are grossly overreacting.

Your talent pool has no equal.

Foz has solid backup team. They will work it out.

Pick the most physical pack you can, BB back at 10 and two more robust centres. Jordan at 15. Play your traditional straight up the middle game narrowing in the defense and hit hard wide when it comes with your skilled backs.

It may not feel like that to you now but the margin between where you were in the last 2 weeks and need to be is not that big in my view. Uncharacteristic lack of physicality and a bit of a breakdown in skills sets. Easily fixable.

Go for a long walk.

 

[KiwiM]

As an outsider DP, I would also say Jack G hasn't exactly set the world on fire this year, but I'd go further and say ALB has been very ordinary too. Laumape might not be the answer either. Remember he wasn't very effective against a newbie Aussie a week ago and Paisami was having only his first or second run in the 12 jersey.

Anyway, by what hidden and to date completely unknown WR (World Rugby) law that exonerates ABs when suspended by a Judiciary Panel will Ofa be available to play?

Ofa will be ready for round 1 Super Rugby 2021. Suspended for the 2 Argie games and 1 Blues preseason game.

 

[KiwiM]

I think you are grossly overreacting.

Your talent pool has no equal.

Foz has solid backup team. They will work it out.

Pick the most physical pack you can, BB back at 10 and two more robust centres. Jordan at 15. Play your traditional straight up the middle game narrowing in the defense and hit hard wide when it comes with your skilled backs.

It may not feel like that to you now but the margin between where you were in the last 2 weeks and need to be is not that big in my view. Uncharacteristic lack of physicality and a bit of a breakdown in skills sets. Easily fixable.

Go for a long walk.

I don't think Foster will work it out.

It's fixable - but not until this coaching staff is gone - it's clear they have no idea what they are doing.

It's just been announced they are sending PUJ home early - that makes no sense to me!

 

[Dismal Pillock]

Instead of gradually calming down I am actually getting angrier and angrier over this.

they are sending PUJ home early - that makes no sense to me!

Of course it does. Wrong sort of contract. Not tenured. Need to keep hammering away with this years safe and steady Mayerhofler and Gibson in the midfield.

Now, I'm not one to be overly given to hyperbole but THE SKY IS FALLING AND I WANT MY MUMMY.

The precious AB brand has been irrepairably soiled. Losses to Ireland then Argen-fucking-tina by this permafrosted cadre of tiktokky insta-showponys. Just imagine if we were playing Scroteland or Wales this year.

OR VIETNAM.

OR FUCKING BRUNEI.

A casual millenial avocado-toasty dump on the legacy built on the broken backs of 100 years of Mccaw murder and Meads mead, hey, we lost, no biggie, let's laugh it off and get some holiday snaps with the fans here at Suncorp for our instafeed, haha, haha, haha, oh what fun.

NEW RULES:

• No smiling
• No hair
• No try celebrations
• No pink boots
• No contracts (you win, you get paid. Otherwise, go hungry c**ts)