New Zealand Rugby Team Watch
- Thread starter Hugh Jarse
- Start date
waiopehu oldboy
George Smith (75)
^ I hear the working title of the movie is Jurassic Pack...
Dismal Pillock
Michael Lynagh (62)
lol someone's had a good old go on Fozzie's wiki page
Dismal Pillock
Michael Lynagh (62)
Can we collate a list of Fozzie's AB firsts as he continues his monstershart powerdump bumcrack fecalblast all over the All Black rugby football "brand"?
- 1st ever loss to Argentina
- 1st ever loss to Ireland
- 1st ever home loss to Ireland
- AB's have now lost 4 of their last 6.
next up, the deal-breaking depth charge that will fathom how deeply in the Marianas Trench Fozzie wants to bury 100 years of winning AB "brand" rugby.
- Losing the Bledisloe. Judging by the respective performances by the 2 nations tonight, this is absolutely on the table.
SURELY losing this trophy will see this charalatan and his hapless gaggle of spurious, specious lackeys turfed out on their motherfucking gravy-trained arses.
No?
Well let's plumb the depths even further into ever-murkier uncharted territories...
EOYT.
- Losing to Wales for the first time since 1953.
- Losing to Scroteland for the first time ever.
It's getting very, very, VERY black down here Fozzie you ***** *************** **********.
- 1st ever loss to Argentina
- 1st ever loss to Ireland
- 1st ever home loss to Ireland
- AB's have now lost 4 of their last 6.
next up, the deal-breaking depth charge that will fathom how deeply in the Marianas Trench Fozzie wants to bury 100 years of winning AB "brand" rugby.
- Losing the Bledisloe. Judging by the respective performances by the 2 nations tonight, this is absolutely on the table.
SURELY losing this trophy will see this charalatan and his hapless gaggle of spurious, specious lackeys turfed out on their motherfucking gravy-trained arses.
No?
Well let's plumb the depths even further into ever-murkier uncharted territories...
EOYT.
- Losing to Wales for the first time since 1953.
- Losing to Scroteland for the first time ever.
It's getting very, very, VERY black down here Fozzie you ***** *************** **********.
Dctarget
Tim Horan (67)
Last 8 tests…
29-31 v South Africa
104-14 v USA
54-16 v Wales
47-9 v Italy
20-29 v Ireland
25-40 v France
42-19 v Ireland
12-23 v Ireland
Dismal Pillock
Michael Lynagh (62)
Would love to hear what Russ Hannemann and the bigwig Silverlake finance guyz think of their investment in the 100-year old unbeatable All Black brand now.....
NZRFU: Hello?
Silverlake: DON'T HELLO ME YOU MEALY MOUTHED LITTLE F******. You've lost 4 of your last 6? What the actual fuck. You stupid goddamn little island arseholes. I thought you awesome legendary superhero cocksuckers lost 4 of your last 100? WE DIDNT GIVE YOU 200 MILLION SO YOU COULD LOSE TO SOME SHAMROCK CLOVERED ALCOHOLIC NUMBSKULLS FROM COUNTY KILLKENNY 4 TIMES IN A ROW. HOW WILL YOU MOTHERFUCKERS FIX THIS TOTALLY FUCKING DOGSHIT RETURN ON OUR CONSIDERABLE FINANCIAL INVESTMENT? ANSWER ME, MOTHERFUCKER. YOU'RE ON SPEAKER WITH THE ENTIRE BOARD.
NZRFU: Umm..... uhhh..... we've tried calling Wayne Smith but he's not picking up?
Silverlake: WHO? AHH, NEVERMIND. FUCKING PATHETIC. AND WHO IS THIS LAZY DEAD-EYED LUMP OF HUMAN DOGSHIT "IAN FOSTER" WE SEE IN THE COACHING BOX? DO NOT TELL ME HE IS IN CHARGE OF OUR 200 MILLION DOLLAR INVESTMENT YOU STUPID FUCKING ARSEHOLES.
NZRFU: He was a very good friend of Steve's. Steve Hansen.
Silverlake: .............
NZRFU: Steve gave the job to Fozzie
Silverlake:.....................
NZRFU: Mark Robinson has a pretty sweet Herb Tarlek jacket. It's ironic in a sort of daggy way.
Silverlake: YOU *********** ******** ********** *** ******************** ***** ******* ************** ********** *********** ******** ********** *** ******************** ***** ******* ************** **********
NZRFU: Hello?
Silverlake: DON'T HELLO ME YOU MEALY MOUTHED LITTLE F******. You've lost 4 of your last 6? What the actual fuck. You stupid goddamn little island arseholes. I thought you awesome legendary superhero cocksuckers lost 4 of your last 100? WE DIDNT GIVE YOU 200 MILLION SO YOU COULD LOSE TO SOME SHAMROCK CLOVERED ALCOHOLIC NUMBSKULLS FROM COUNTY KILLKENNY 4 TIMES IN A ROW. HOW WILL YOU MOTHERFUCKERS FIX THIS TOTALLY FUCKING DOGSHIT RETURN ON OUR CONSIDERABLE FINANCIAL INVESTMENT? ANSWER ME, MOTHERFUCKER. YOU'RE ON SPEAKER WITH THE ENTIRE BOARD.
NZRFU: Umm..... uhhh..... we've tried calling Wayne Smith but he's not picking up?
Silverlake: WHO? AHH, NEVERMIND. FUCKING PATHETIC. AND WHO IS THIS LAZY DEAD-EYED LUMP OF HUMAN DOGSHIT "IAN FOSTER" WE SEE IN THE COACHING BOX? DO NOT TELL ME HE IS IN CHARGE OF OUR 200 MILLION DOLLAR INVESTMENT YOU STUPID FUCKING ARSEHOLES.
NZRFU: He was a very good friend of Steve's. Steve Hansen.
Silverlake: .............
NZRFU: Steve gave the job to Fozzie
Silverlake:.....................
NZRFU: Mark Robinson has a pretty sweet Herb Tarlek jacket. It's ironic in a sort of daggy way.
Silverlake: YOU *********** ******** ********** *** ******************** ***** ******* ************** ********** *********** ******** ********** *** ******************** ***** ******* ************** **********
waiopehu oldboy
George Smith (75)
DMac played the full 80 for Woodlands Friday night, scored a try & kicked five conversions in a 55-17 win over Star. I really won't be surprised if Foster finds a way to call him into AB camp after last night's debacle.
KOB1987
John Eales (66)
You can probably add ‘slipped to 4th in World Rankings’ to that list. I’m pretty sure thats a first, if not at least a rarity.
Dismal Pillock
Michael Lynagh (62)
Anyone recall that ESPN (?) stats site from 10 years ago or so with Alltime Players Test Win %s and somethign like 19 of the top 20 were all AB's sitting at 85-90%? C.Smith, Mccaw, Read etc.
@waiopehu oldboy will know this.
Wondering how that top 20 is looking now. Guessing none of the current crop of failures will be troubling the statsmeisters. Players like Scrote Barrett, Ardie Savea & Paper Tiger Pat are very, very much accustomed to losing All Black test matches.
@waiopehu oldboy will know this.
Wondering how that top 20 is looking now. Guessing none of the current crop of failures will be troubling the statsmeisters. Players like Scrote Barrett, Ardie Savea & Paper Tiger Pat are very, very much accustomed to losing All Black test matches.
zer0
John Thornett (49)
Yes, was stacked with ABs who played most of their matches from 2010-2016, or so. IIRC Wyatt Crocket had the best record, including something like being undefeated for his first ~50 test matches.
EDIT: Crockett (2009-2017) has a 66-3-2 test record lmao. Only ever lost to Australia, England, and the Lions (once each), and was 9-0 against the Boks. 100% pure clean green gigachad.
EDIT II: His his first loss was in 2012 against England and his second and third losses weren't until 2017. Seems somewhat fitting that the 2017 season really tanked his record.
Source, the somewhat broken, but still kina legible, ESPN statsguru: http://en.espn.co.uk/statsguru/rugby/player/15301.html?class=1;template=results;type=player
EDIT: Crockett (2009-2017) has a 66-3-2 test record lmao. Only ever lost to Australia, England, and the Lions (once each), and was 9-0 against the Boks. 100% pure clean green gigachad.
EDIT II: His his first loss was in 2012 against England and his second and third losses weren't until 2017. Seems somewhat fitting that the 2017 season really tanked his record.
Source, the somewhat broken, but still kina legible, ESPN statsguru: http://en.espn.co.uk/statsguru/rugby/player/15301.html?class=1;template=results;type=player
Dismal Pillock
Michael Lynagh (62)
Jesus, that website is shot to shit.
Lax form from @waiopehu oldboy for failing to correctly maintain it.
He had ONE job to do.
ONE JOB.
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Derpus
Nathan Sharpe (72)
God damn but isn't that just a thing of beauty.Last 8 tests…
29-31 v South Africa
104-14 v USA
54-16 v Wales
47-9 v Italy
20-29 v Ireland
25-40 v France
42-19 v Ireland
12-23 v Ireland
Welcome to the last 10 years (minus 2015) of being a Wallaby fan.
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Dismal Pillock
Michael Lynagh (62)
waiopehu oldboy
George Smith (75)
Great news for @Dismal Pillock & @zer0
"Unwanted All Black George Bridge is set to leave New Zealand to take up an overseas deal."
i.stuff.co.nz
I'm a little surprised he's been let go as he's a serviceable Super player even if no longer a certain starter.
"Unwanted All Black George Bridge is set to leave New Zealand to take up an overseas deal."
Unwanted All Blacks wing George Bridge eyeing overseas move
George Bridge bows out as the Crusaders' fourth-leading try scorer in history, having scored 37 tries in six seasons.
i.stuff.co.nz
I'm a little surprised he's been let go as he's a serviceable Super player even if no longer a certain starter.
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Dismal Pillock
Michael Lynagh (62)
Some utter, utter failures in that AB XV last night. Even Aaron Smith. If he's not going to offer even the risk of having a snipe then defenders can sweat on his beautiful, beautiful pass out in the midfield where its inevitably heading and hello, backwards we go again.
The following forwards can absolutely just please fuck off forever. Enjoy all eternity alongside the Mayerhofler's and Mark Carters and Taine Randalls as names synonymous with Failed All Blacks. That stench will NEVER wash off. It's a lifetime of ignominy for you. You blew it and it's all your fault.
- Nepo Laulala
- Codie Taylor
- Ofa
- Sam Cane
- Karl T.
Just fucking go away.
The backs get a pass due to the crippling crimes of the pack. Never going forward.
1
2 Samsonite
3
4 Sam Whitelock
5
6
7
8 Sotutu, fuck, someone, anyone
9
10
11 Rieko is a winger ffs
12
13
14
15 Will Jordan
16
17
18
19 ARDIE
20
21
22 BB
23
As for the rest of the positions, Razor will know what to do when he takes over from the Bled, after the 0-2 bokke tour
The following forwards can absolutely just please fuck off forever. Enjoy all eternity alongside the Mayerhofler's and Mark Carters and Taine Randalls as names synonymous with Failed All Blacks. That stench will NEVER wash off. It's a lifetime of ignominy for you. You blew it and it's all your fault.
- Nepo Laulala
- Codie Taylor
- Ofa
- Sam Cane
- Karl T.
Just fucking go away.
The backs get a pass due to the crippling crimes of the pack. Never going forward.
1
2 Samsonite
3
4 Sam Whitelock
5
6
7
8 Sotutu, fuck, someone, anyone
9
10
11 Rieko is a winger ffs
12
13
14
15 Will Jordan
16
17
18
19 ARDIE
20
21
22 BB
23
As for the rest of the positions, Razor will know what to do when he takes over from the Bled, after the 0-2 bokke tour
Kiwis are a load a great footballers at the moment, but few GOATS (They lack those real angry game breakers) and lacked a structure to break down a quality side
So they played another team full a great footballers with a plan and were found wanting
To me, they need a decent coach with a bigger brain, Foster ain't the answer
So they played another team full a great footballers with a plan and were found wanting
To me, they need a decent coach with a bigger brain, Foster ain't the answer
zer0
John Thornett (49)
Definitely time to drop the props who just waddle between set pieces and can't even guarantee dominance there. Let the younger, more dynamic, options get stuck in. Taylor to finally be taken out back behind the shed. Oddjob to backup Samsonite, because at least he'll cannonball himself into the opposition.
For the loosies, bring Grace into blindside and Sotutu at the back of the scrum. Together with the two locks that gives you four strong lineout targets as well as physicality around the park on both sides of the ball. Sotutu is hardly a slouch off the back of the scrum either. Can even switch up with Savea at times for different carrying options. Speaking of, only one of Savea, Papalii, or Cane on the field at a time. I think there's still huge value in bringing Savea off the bench - similar to how Samu is used by the Wallabies - but he could start too.
So something like:
1. de Groot
2. Taukei'aho
3. Newell
4. Retallick
5. Whitelock
6. Grace
7. Savea/Papalii
8. Sotutu
16. Aumua/Coles (maybe)
17. Hodgman/Norris
18. Williams
19. S.Barrett/Vaa'i/Bird (I hear he was plying quite well in France before returning)
20. Papalii/Savea/Ioane
For the backs, get some big bastards in there. Clarke on the wing. Probably Rieko on the other, though Reece's footwork could work in a more coherent, or simply existent, attacking structure. If you really have to persevere with B.Barret at first-five then bring Perofeta into fullback and see if they can replicate their dynamic from the Blues. There's too many potential midfield options to try decipher that mess, and may also be dependent on who is selected at 10/15.
For the loosies, bring Grace into blindside and Sotutu at the back of the scrum. Together with the two locks that gives you four strong lineout targets as well as physicality around the park on both sides of the ball. Sotutu is hardly a slouch off the back of the scrum either. Can even switch up with Savea at times for different carrying options. Speaking of, only one of Savea, Papalii, or Cane on the field at a time. I think there's still huge value in bringing Savea off the bench - similar to how Samu is used by the Wallabies - but he could start too.
So something like:
1. de Groot
2. Taukei'aho
3. Newell
4. Retallick
5. Whitelock
6. Grace
7. Savea/Papalii
8. Sotutu
16. Aumua/Coles (maybe)
17. Hodgman/Norris
18. Williams
19. S.Barrett/Vaa'i/Bird (I hear he was plying quite well in France before returning)
20. Papalii/Savea/Ioane
For the backs, get some big bastards in there. Clarke on the wing. Probably Rieko on the other, though Reece's footwork could work in a more coherent, or simply existent, attacking structure. If you really have to persevere with B.Barret at first-five then bring Perofeta into fullback and see if they can replicate their dynamic from the Blues. There's too many potential midfield options to try decipher that mess, and may also be dependent on who is selected at 10/15.
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Dismal Pillock
Michael Lynagh (62)
Sounds brutal but has to happen. The Pooper didnt work and neither is this
Deckchairs on the Titanic stuff isnt it.
They'll surely have to at least look at Jordie at 2nd 5
KiwiM
Arch Winning (36)
Another option is Mo'unga 10 Jordan 15 and replicating their dynamic from Crusaders.
Would also open up the option of trying Jordie at 12.
Spot on with the forwards. Bower is showing the way with the props - time to keep that momentum going with the likes of De Groot, Hodgman, Newell, Norris, Williams etc
The 'experienced' props quite frankly - suck.