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Ireland NZ Tour 2022

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Dismal Pillock

Michael Lynagh (62)
"The Breakdown", LOL, an utterly, utterly insipidly feeble standard of rugby football journalism.

They run it like they're the fucking Stasi.

If you speak ill of your paymasters you get disappeared from the screen.

NZ crying out for an independent alternative with some Real Talk.

The 3-Headed Hydra Of The Auckpocalypse and W.Oldboy could do a far better job.

W.O: the Goldie role, holding it all together
K.IwiM and Z.ero: Bringing The Hammer Down with Cutting Real Talk
D.Pillock: off camera Executive Producer In Charge Of All Equity and Financial Equities and Pursestrings.
 

Dismal Pillock

Michael Lynagh (62)
Soon this thread will sink like a stone.

AND NOT A MOMENT TOO SOON FFS

Still beggars belief that this iteration of the AB's ARE going to go down in history as the worst all Blacks side ever.

Time to flush the dunny on some of these busted flushes.

It's hard to judge now in the midst of it all but some of these names are going to become synonymous with the Mayerhofler's and Randall's atop The Mt Rushmore Of ABFFSFail.

They could absolve their sins at RWC2023 but my Lifetime of Ignominy guesses are in red.

Hookers

Dane Coles. omg , so, so olllllllld
Codie Taylor. oh fuck me. Did he even want to play? Can't very well say no when asked can you.....
Samisoni Taukei’aho. utter, utter facepalm of a non-selection.

Props. an absolute omnishambles here

Aidan Ross. bench guy, hopefully promising
George Bower. seemed to almost do something
Angus Ta’avao. at least he's mobile I suppose. the names below here though are such turgid fat failures that they have disgraced themselves and their country:
Nepo Laulala
Ofa Tuungafasi
Karl Tu’inukuafe

Locks. cupboard is EMMMMPTY

Samuel Whitelock. insaaanely old. we just cannot expect the guy to keep goiiinnnnnng
Brodie Retallick. can still do it. in spurts. not 80 minute spurts though
Scott Barrett. LOLjoke. Has now lost a LOT of All Black tests.
Tupou Vaa’i. seems like a mobile soup player......

Loose Forwards

Pita Gus Sowakula
oh dear
Sam Cane. triple oh dear. Taine vs Cane
Dalton Papalii. couple of games and he didnt do much. so disappointed. Confession time; I thought he would rock up and pretty much take over the team and dominate and be captain by RWC2023
Ardie Savea. tries so, so hard and loses so, so often. How will history judge him? The 7 Fozzie inexplicably put at 8 cos he chose his captain 7 years ago?
Akira Ioane. 2018 Akira was unstoppable. 2022 Akira is usually stoppable.
Hoskins Sotutu DNP. DID. NOT. PLAY. Didnt play a fucking minute! Cahnt spake. Ardie played every minute, out of position, for what must be about his FIFTH loss against Ireland. Definition of madness and all that.

Halfbacks

Folau Fakatava. NO PRESSURE BUDDY
Aaron Smith. jesus the most important AB and its all starting to fall to bits at the worst timmmmme
Finlay Christie. Played for 3 seconds. Would Brad Weber be better?

First five-eighths

Stephen Perofeta DNP. ffs D.N.P. Like Sotutu, 3 test series and we have now developed these guys NOT ONE FUCKING IOTA FURTHER.
Beauden Barrett. BENCH GUYYY. Keeps proving he cant run the cutter. Keeps getting picked to run the cutter.
Richie Mo’unga. played for 10 seconds LOL that 61-7 cantabs record DONT MEAN SHIT AT THE NEXT LEVEL UP BUDDY.

Mid-fielders

Roger Tuivasa-Sheck. played 3 minutes. AFTER A 3 TEST SERIES, AS WITH PEROFUTURE AND SOTUTU, WE STILL HAVE NO IDEA IF THESE GUYS ARE READY FOR THIS LEVEL. THANKS FOZZIE
Quinn Tupaea. could possibly be something
Jack Goodhue DNP. Seems like he hasnt played this DECADE.
Rieko Ioane. is he reeeeallly a centre?
David Havili. Hello, Mark Mayerhofler circa 2022. Welcome to History

Outside backs

Leicester Fainga’anuku. poor bugger. 2 tests of clueless uncoached bedshit
Jordie Barrett. utterly shit series. offered zero from FB
Will Jordan. poor bugger cant defend wing
Sevu Reece. spectator
 

Kevin77

Fred Wood (13)
lol just saw the yellow card, how was that not identical to last week’s? ABs have definite right to feel aggrieved.


BUUUUT fkn up the Paddys, what a dominant game. Well deserved win.
You have to wonder if all the carry on in the press about cards ruining games was on Barnes mind so he was reluctant to award a red
 

Dctarget

Tim Horan (67)
You have to wonder if all the carry on in the press about cards ruining games was on Barnes mind so he was reluctant to award a red
Genuinely think so. Combined with the ref's reluctance in the Wallabies game I think there was a general edit for the refs to shelve the cards and TMO for game 3.
 

Dan54

David Wilson (68)
You have to wonder if all the carry on in the press about cards ruining games was on Barnes mind so he was reluctant to award a red
Got to say even as an AB supporter, I was quite happy it not a red card, we don't need more of them as he hasn't been cited so no probs.
 

Jeffrey

Chris McKivat (8)
After the losses in the 2nd and 3rd games, these have been what Foster has said. It's the same, general, broad, vague, directionless, answers, which indicates that "for some reason", he doesn't really know what's going on.

In 8 years with the Chiefs, Ian Foster won 52 games, lost 46, and drew 5. About a 50% win rate. Immediately after he left, the Chiefs won 24 of their next 32 games under Dave Rennie, a 75% win rate. There was a ridiculous comment that this is not a strong argument. Er. Ok.

In international rugby, Ian Foster has coached the ABs in 24 games, winning 16. However, 5 of those wins come against fiji, Tonga, USA, and Italy - basically walkovers. In the games against tier one opponents, Foster is 11 of 19. Against the 3 top teams in the world - France, SA, and Ireland, Foster is 2 from 7.

So, the question is, how bad must Foster do before he leaves? This is really hypothetical since this is just an internet forum. And I understand some fans don't think we are all that bad and Foster has been a bit unlucky. That's fine - I think any view is plausible. But just with regards to the question, which Pillock had also previously asked. Regardless of whether you think it is Foster's fault or not, how bad must his record be before he gets sacked? Or is he unsackable because the WC is next year?

On bad starts: "We talked a lot about it,” Foster said. “There’s different things you do at the start. But for some reason, we’re just not as calm. It’s more the defence area. We’re getting a little bit fidgety early. We’re letting a few holes and Ireland aren’t a team that you can allow to get behind you. That’s when they play an up-tempo game. And we’ve done that and it’s hurt us. We worked on some things but again we just made a couple of errors early and they got that early momentum. We tried hard, we wanted to start well,” Foster said. “Again we made a couple of defensive errors early that put us under a lot of pressure. Came back really strong (after halftime) but they wrestled a little bit of momentum at key points in that second half that really stopped us really having a good crack at it."

“I thought we struggled to get the real territory that we needed and probably played too much rugby in our own half,” Foster said.
“They flattered up their D-line and we perhaps needed to be more three-dimensional with our attack, I think, and turn them around a little bit."
 
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KiwiM

Arch Winning (36)
Got to say even as an AB supporter, I was quite happy it not a red card, we don't need more of them as he hasn't been cited so no probs.

I was happy it wasn't a red as I thought another red would just mask the failings of Foster.
 

Derpus

Nathan Sharpe (72)
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Dismal Pillock

Michael Lynagh (62)
The hype intro for Pfitzy's segment of The 3-Headed Hydra Of The Auckpocalypse and W.Oldboy Show will take at least 20 minutes. At least. It will just go on and on and on until there's no one left listening and no time left for any actual show.

"He was born in The Valley of Truth, at the junction of Fuck and Yes, just on the outskirts of GTFO Nutsack City Limits, pop, 1. The immaculate conception of The Donkey and The Punch, when he speaks the sun grows dim in porculent deference, the moon cries Mary and the quivering virgins nationwide hanging frost-still upon his every utterance begin to ovulate with the tide.....
 
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