Ben Tune - battle with depression

[TOCC]

FOUR years ago, almost to the day, I sat alone in my Paddington apartment and decided to end my life. It was a decision that ultimately made me a better man.​

​

I had convinced myself that my friends and family had no idea what I was going through and even if help was available, the trek out of the darkness seemed insurmountable.​

I was devoid of feelings which led me to hurt the people I cared about the most. Depression causes so much pain while leaving you numb to any actual feelings. I would often take to myself with a knife or pre-heated cigarette lighter just so I could actually feel human again.​

Over the first few months of 2009, I started stockpiling what I needed to kill myself.​

I prepared my final instructions to my parents and my brothers; and I wrote three separate letters to my three boys to read when their mum deemed them old enough, and finally compiled an iTunes "farewell" song list consisting mostly of Pearl Jam.​

On what I thought was the last night of my life, I took the three pictures of my beautiful boys out of their frames and sat resolutely on the couch.​

Hugging my kids' pictures, I ingested a potentially lethal dose of pills and chased it down with a bottle of bourbon.​

I estimated I only had 20 minutes until I lost consciousness so I sent a text message to my amazingly supportive and caring girlfriend at the time and apologised for turning her life upside down.​

read the rest of the article here:

http://www.couriermail.com.au/sport...now-a-better-man/story-fnbzn566-1226639990976

Incredible stuff, not too dissimilar to the Clyde Rathbone story, its why i continue to harp on that players deserve the right to choose their career path, they don't owe anything to any state or teams, there are often external pressures and in this case internal pressures that we are unaware of.

 

[Inside Shoulder]

Incredible stuff, not too dissimilar to the Clyde Rathbone story, its why i continue to harp on that players deserve the right to choose their career path, they don't owe anything to any state or teams, there are often external pressures and in this case internal pressures that we are unaware of.

What a way to start a Sunday.
A courageous bit of writing.




Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

 

[Ignoto]

Great piece written there. Horrible to hear how much this illness has taken from him. From memory, Tuney suffered from a case of the Footballers headaches? With the Americans finally starting to see a pattern in depression and their NFL players, I just wonder if there was any similar causation?

I grew up as Tuney was coming into full-flight and the guy was my idol (even though I may have been a forward). Between the Tune dives I was always in awe how much he thrived on taking on Jonah!

 

[Rebel rouser]

Tune has always been one of my heroes. And perhaps today more than ever.

I love the insight of the statement: "[my] football career which had convinced me that what you achieved was more important than the type of person you were."

Just from what I've seen on interviews etc, Tune always seemed to be an honest and genuine person. So you've got ticks on both columns mate. I'm glad things seem to be back on the up. Best of luck big fella.

 

[youngone]

What does RUPA owe to players once they leave the great game in Australia?

 

[Dan54]

Really really interesting read, same as I said after reading John Kirwans story on same thing, we don't think these men can have any such problems, but the bloody 'Black Dog' can strike anywhere!! very powerful read!!

 

[Scoey]

That is one powerful story. I read it and then read it again. I had to keep reminding myself that this is Tuney writing this..... about himself!!! Mental illnesses such as anxiety and depression really do not discriminate and this story cements this view in my mind. It goes to show just how important it is to never be afraid to ask your mate, "Are you OK?" and really want to know the answer.

Look after each other. Do what ever you have to do. Make sure your mate is OK.

 

[Henry]

Tune's my favorite player of all time. I remember reading once that Lomu rated Tune as his most respected opponent.
Big props for him on coming out and talking about his horrible situation, it can'f have been easy at all. Hopefully it'll inspire others to get help.

 

[Scoey]

Part of his issue (and this is based solely on the article) appears to be with not being able to handle a life without Rugby. This is exactly why the game, the players association and the players need to look after guys like Kurtley at the moment. Not because of his value to the game, not because of his abilities, but because he is a human being that is in need of help.

More needs to be done in this area. So much more and this is an issue that every single one of us can truly make a difference. The vast majority of us will never be involved in a cure for cancer or developing some ground breaking treatment for Alzheimer's but close to every single one of us will be affected personally or will know someone who is struggling with depression or anxiety to some degree whether we know it or not. Never underestimate the difference you might make.

 

[Jets]

Some information put out by the FA in regards to mental health that I thought was relevant

http://www.thesportinmind.com/weekl...footballers-open-up-about-their-mental-health

 

[sammy3191]

Wow just read the article Ben wrote, it was a no holds barred account that must have taken a huge amount of courage to write, hats off to you Ben.

Just shows that the Black Dog doesn't care who you are or what you have done, it can strike anyone at anytime. I'm sure there are more stories like this out there. The article highlights a growing issue with depression amongst young men, well men in general that has previously been brushed under the carpet.

There is help out there men just need to ask for it, which seems to be the big sticking point. Hopefully these sorts of articles help to prevent more lives being lost.

 

[en_force_er]

I think mid life crisises must be more common for footballers because their lives basically hit reset in their mid-30s.

We, as normal people, GENERALLY tend to spend our 20s working out what we want to do and maybe give a couple of things a crack, then settle down.

Football players might decide on a future career while they are playing but if at 35ish (when they enter real life) it's not what it's cracked up to be, then shit gets real.

Not everyone can get into coaching/the media and keep the glamour lifestyle. It must be confronting to have no clear direction at the age most people are popping out youngsters.

 

[rugbyisfun]

Bloody hell. What a story.