Auckland Blues To Infinity and Beyond
- Thread starter cyclopath
- Start date
zer0
John Thornett (49)
They do, and some more. What they don't need to do is accept any more of Kirwan's coaching mediocrity while the entire franchise is reorganised.
So if it's a case of getting Smith on the condition that Kirwan stays as head coach, then Smith can stay in the Tron. There are others who can probably do the job of shaking up the organisation while also improving on-field performance.
Like in maths, if you have two non-coaches, does it become a positive coach?
-coach x -coach = +coach
The Blues are geniuses.
yourmatesam
Desmond Connor (43)
Whatever you and Dismal are smoking cyclo, it's working wonders for your logic!
Dismal is smoking something????
Dismal Pillock
Michael Lynagh (62)
**NATIONAL DISASTER**
Pat Tuipulotu out of 2015 World Cup
http://www.nzherald.co.nz/sport/news/article.cfm?c_id=4&objectid=11458530
Pat Tuipulotu out of 2015 World Cup
http://www.nzherald.co.nz/sport/news/article.cfm?c_id=4&objectid=11458530
waiopehu oldboy
George Smith (75)
Never mind the Woodman brothers, get Kawhena's daughter/ Fred's niece Portia in there, she'll show the boys a thing or two, how to win a "best player" trophy for starters:
Dismal Pillock
Michael Lynagh (62)
Auckland Blues 2015 Season Review.
Coach Kirwan started out the season in defiant mood ready to lead his people to the promised land.........
........but it will went wrong virtually instantly.
"Stay positive, board member wanker!"
"Get back! Let me do my jooooob."
"Jesus, Kirwan, if you can't stand
the heat get out of the........
.....ohh shiiiiiiiiiiiit"
....... and with that the Auckland Blues board members were vanquished for good.
The Becks.
Led the comp with 2,338 dropped balls and 1,443 missed defensive reads yet miraculously not one single hair was found out of place.
There may have been some other becks and forwards who had a run around during the course of the season but they all left early to go home and watch Shortland Street.
In Executive Summary, the season started badly, then took a turn for the worse, and from there it completely disintegrated into some sort of bowel-liquifying, face-dissolving nuclear core meltdown.
Coach Kirwan started out the season in defiant mood ready to lead his people to the promised land.........
........but it will went wrong virtually instantly.
"Stay positive, board member wanker!"
"Get back! Let me do my jooooob."
"Jesus, Kirwan, if you can't stand
the heat get out of the........
.....ohh shiiiiiiiiiiiit"
....... and with that the Auckland Blues board members were vanquished for good.
The Becks.
Led the comp with 2,338 dropped balls and 1,443 missed defensive reads yet miraculously not one single hair was found out of place.
There may have been some other becks and forwards who had a run around during the course of the season but they all left early to go home and watch Shortland Street.
In Executive Summary, the season started badly, then took a turn for the worse, and from there it completely disintegrated into some sort of bowel-liquifying, face-dissolving nuclear core meltdown.
waiopehu oldboy
George Smith (75)
BREAKING NEWS: North Korea has refused to grant asylum to the still-unidentified person holed up in their Tokyo consulate & claiming to represent ~40 members of the Ngati Bloos minority who he claims are bring ridiculed in their homeland for being crap at rugby.
"The Great Leader, being the World's foremost expert on all things rugby, watched tonight's match with great interest" a North Korean official said "and he was not pleased by what he saw. People have been executed by anti-aircraft artillery for less. Ngati Bloos are not welcome here. They can fuck off to the Pitcairns for all we care. And they can take their so-called spokesman/ advocate with them. In fact that's a non-negotiable".
"The Great Leader, being the World's foremost expert on all things rugby, watched tonight's match with great interest" a North Korean official said "and he was not pleased by what he saw. People have been executed by anti-aircraft artillery for less. Ngati Bloos are not welcome here. They can fuck off to the Pitcairns for all we care. And they can take their so-called spokesman/ advocate with them. In fact that's a non-negotiable".
Hugh Jarse
Rocky Elsom (76)
^^^ Very serendipitous news because there are unconfirmed reports that there are some significant problems in the server room at Gunston Global HQ in the Pitcairns. Apparently these are serious problems with international ramifications for the global digital communications network.
Spokesman Gene Gunston said that traffic on strategically vital Transpacific fibreoptic cable would be restricted until the issues in the server room had been resolved, and that a team of experts from Kelliher, Braid and Pillock Communications were close to solving the problem.
Apparently Obeid Corp had routed the both Transpacific FibreOptic cables through Gunston Global Headquarters when they were originally laid, adding USD$320 m to the cost of the installation.
Spokesman Gene Gunston said that traffic on strategically vital Transpacific fibreoptic cable would be restricted until the issues in the server room had been resolved, and that a team of experts from Kelliher, Braid and Pillock Communications were close to solving the problem.
Apparently Obeid Corp had routed the both Transpacific FibreOptic cables through Gunston Global Headquarters when they were originally laid, adding USD$320 m to the cost of the installation.
Teh Other Dave
Alan Cameron (40)
Someone should send this via short wave radio, preferably after Voice of Korea give their daily broadcast:
Dismal Pillock
Michael Lynagh (62)
haha, wft is that.
NK embassy Rejection Slip read
Full State Funeral for Auckland Blues 2015 season is being organised
Please prepare to pay your final disrespects, filing past in an orderly procession.
haha, let me guess, one of them does all the shitwork, another walks around with his shirt off counting on his hands and the other one is just a f**kin 100% useless idiot
Dismal Pillock
Michael Lynagh (62)
Auckland Blues 2015 Season Full State Funeral
"Let us gather to mourn our absolutely shit season and to bury the f**ker so deep that when they exhume the remains in the year 10666 it will still have liquid-hot magma smeg bits on its charred black dick. In fact, f**k that, let's just burn it with fire right now today."
The Funeral Procession passes solemnly through downtown Onehunga. The women weep uncontrollably. The concrete mixer mixes concrete.
The banners carry messages questioning the parentage of the coach, messages so profane that to utter them aloud in a public setting would risk immediate deportation followed by public stoning followed by arrest followed by a very, VERY stern talking-to from that one rugged uncle that everyone seems to have.
"The Season" is in this box? What does it even look like?
Nobody knows. Nobody even saw it this year."
We solemnly observe the burning of the season with
fire. It is dead now, let us never speak of it again.
Until next season when the same thing will
happen again and we have to burn its corpse again.
Lest We Forget
Special Mention:
Dismal Pillock
Michael Lynagh (62)
Fun Facts* from The Halcyon Days of The Roman Empire
*no, I did not make these up
ps apropos of nothing, North Harbour's backline in 2004:
- Nick Evans
- L**k McAlister.
- Anthony Tuitavake
- Rico Gear
- Hosea Gear
- Rudi Wulf