Auckland Blues To Infinity and Beyond
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Dismal Pillock
Michael Lynagh (62)
Dismal Pillock
Michael Lynagh (62)
Auckland Blues assistant cancels All Blacks test series
--NZ Herald--
Auckland Blues assistant Sir Graham Henry has taken the unprecedented step of cancelling an entire All Blacks test series. "The upcoming test break would've stuffed up the Blues momentum" said the former Auckland Grammar headmaster. "The Poms can come back after the playoffs if they like. I have no problem with that."
"Bugger off poms, we're busy now."
-Auckland Blues assistant.
--NZ Herald--
Auckland Blues assistant Sir Graham Henry has taken the unprecedented step of cancelling an entire All Blacks test series. "The upcoming test break would've stuffed up the Blues momentum" said the former Auckland Grammar headmaster. "The Poms can come back after the playoffs if they like. I have no problem with that."
"Bugger off poms, we're busy now."
-Auckland Blues assistant.
Dismal Pillock
Michael Lynagh (62)
Kirwan: Blues are still in the SuperRugby title race
http://www.superxv.com/42758/1/kirwan-blues-are-still-in-the-superrugby-title-race#.U5GxUygiz1B
"Drugs? No, of course I haven't got any. Don't be silly. I took the lot."
--Blues coach Sir John Kirwan.
http://www.superxv.com/42758/1/kirwan-blues-are-still-in-the-superrugby-title-race#.U5GxUygiz1B
"Drugs? No, of course I haven't got any. Don't be silly. I took the lot."
--Blues coach Sir John Kirwan.
Dismal Pillock
Michael Lynagh (62)
Auckland Blues Captain out for six months
--NZ Herald--
The Blues have opted to send captain Luke Braid-Whitelock for major shoulder surgery tomorrow which will rule him out of the game until next year's Super Rugby competition.
Coach John Kirwan said "his shoulders are rooted because he has been working like a rabid black dog for us all season. Unlike Matt Todd down in Cantabland whose only wear and tear issues would be an arseload of splinters from sleeping on the bench in between his f**king All Black camp invitations."
The recovery period for the rotator cuff surgery is six months. Recovery periods for bum splinters are unknown at this time. Probably about 3 to 5 f**king minutes.
"Looks like I'm ruled out of the All Blacks end of year tour, haha. That's a good one. That fat c**t coach probably ate my f***king telephone number anyway."
Auckland Blues captain Luke Braid-Whitelock.
--NZ Herald--
The Blues have opted to send captain Luke Braid-Whitelock for major shoulder surgery tomorrow which will rule him out of the game until next year's Super Rugby competition.
Coach John Kirwan said "his shoulders are rooted because he has been working like a rabid black dog for us all season. Unlike Matt Todd down in Cantabland whose only wear and tear issues would be an arseload of splinters from sleeping on the bench in between his f**king All Black camp invitations."
The recovery period for the rotator cuff surgery is six months. Recovery periods for bum splinters are unknown at this time. Probably about 3 to 5 f**king minutes.
"Looks like I'm ruled out of the All Blacks end of year tour, haha. That's a good one. That fat c**t coach probably ate my f***king telephone number anyway."
Auckland Blues captain Luke Braid-Whitelock.
waiopehu oldboy
George Smith (75)
To be fair it's more Sam Cane than Matt Todd keeping your man Luke out've the frame but a good rant nevertheless. #justice4luke.
Hugh Jarse
Rocky Elsom (76)
What is the status of Mitchell Karpik?
He was impressive as a NZ Schoolboy in the "tests" I saw in 2013. He was an absolute terrier for the Auckland Blues in the World Club 7's at Twickers.
Is he headed for the 7's programme under Sir Tich, or will we see him popping up in Super Rugby in a year or two for the Blues as Mitchell Karpik-Whitelock?
He was impressive as a NZ Schoolboy in the "tests" I saw in 2013. He was an absolute terrier for the Auckland Blues in the World Club 7's at Twickers.
Is he headed for the 7's programme under Sir Tich, or will we see him popping up in Super Rugby in a year or two for the Blues as Mitchell Karpik-Whitelock?
waiopehu oldboy
George Smith (75)
"Former Highlanders coach Glenn Moore will take charge of the Blues forward pack for the next two years."
http://www.stuff.co.nz/sport/rugby/...nn-Moore-to-take-charge-of-Blues-forward-pack
http://www.stuff.co.nz/sport/rugby/...nn-Moore-to-take-charge-of-Blues-forward-pack
Dismal Pillock
Michael Lynagh (62)
Taiwanese Animation of man 'whacking' All Black Charlie Faumuina's heavily pregnant wife
http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=11362483
Once again, please direct all complaints regarding the poor quality of this work to The GAGR Art Dept. (be sure to include a S.A.S.E)
One sunny night in friendly downtown Mangere, Mrs F was tooling along in her husbands All Blacks Ford Canyonero when she saw a suspicious-looking orange b**ch. So she popped a friendly cap in the bi**hes arse.
The orange b**ches father, Mr Robert Moka (on the left), finds out, gets naked, and tracks down and bashes Charlie's heavily preggers wife.
Meanwhile, Charlie is on board an All Blacks aeroplane headed for the UK. (seen here thinking deeply about The Dark Arts).
Robert Moka (pictured above) is apprehended by the Mangere FBI.
"But...... but Charlie's my idolll." says Robert Moka.
A happy ending: Mrs F eventually forgives Robert Moka and ends up naming her baby "Robert Moka Faumaina Jr III".
http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=11362483
Once again, please direct all complaints regarding the poor quality of this work to The GAGR Art Dept. (be sure to include a S.A.S.E)
One sunny night in friendly downtown Mangere, Mrs F was tooling along in her husbands All Blacks Ford Canyonero when she saw a suspicious-looking orange b**ch. So she popped a friendly cap in the bi**hes arse.
The orange b**ches father, Mr Robert Moka (on the left), finds out, gets naked, and tracks down and bashes Charlie's heavily preggers wife.
Meanwhile, Charlie is on board an All Blacks aeroplane headed for the UK. (seen here thinking deeply about The Dark Arts).
Robert Moka (pictured above) is apprehended by the Mangere FBI.
"But...... but Charlie's my idolll." says Robert Moka.
A happy ending: Mrs F eventually forgives Robert Moka and ends up naming her baby "Robert Moka Faumaina Jr III".
Teh Other Dave
Alan Cameron (40)
You're missing the smoothest animation of a crayfish I have ever seen
https://fbcdn-sphotos-e-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-AK (Andrew Kellaway)-xpa1/v/t1.0-9/10906316_799423466759541_6764021891328731016_n.png?oh=c69f6b19bb9a6fa2652bfe5092214046&oe=556DC3AA&__gda__=1429025298_f0439b07f2c6acdc35f1b94165da5b1f
This sounds like something Dismal Pillock would have come up with.
This sounds like something Dismal Pillock would have come up with.
Dismal Pillock
Michael Lynagh (62)
Auckland Blues 2015 Season Preview
Fairly clear run-in to The Coronation this year.
All Blacks everywhere. Running, passing, jailbreaking, murdering, killing on the run. Stopping at the petrol station outside Paremoremo to gas up with more gas then turning on the afterburners to gas yet even more pricks on the outside.
No use analysing such things as "easy schedules" or "tricky assignments" for The Auckland Blues though. They throw all of that shit out the window. They can topple the Cantabs at The New Old Lancaster Park in Week 1 then succumb to the Golden Soweto Midwives 3rd XV of Botswana in Week 2.
The murder starts up front. Woodcock, Mealamu and Faumaina. Hold the phones baby. All All Blacks, All The Time. Total destruction. Apart from Konkrete Keven and T.Woodcock finally completely falling apart, what could possibly go wrong?
James Parsons out for the season thanks to 3 ruinous minutes for the stupid All Blacks and now he's stuffed for 30 months. Stupid All Blacks! Player welfare if you do not mind.
"How about some player welfare, if you please. Compensation? You mean besides all of the gate takings and TV revenue from the US vs NZ match? <<extended silent stare>>
--unnamed Auckland Blues
The locks look solid. Thank God & Satan & Santa that Liaki Moli the Wild Man of Borneo has retreated back to the jungles of Borneo, South Auckland. When the dreadlocked duo of him and Ofa were on the field at the same time you could pretty much pencil in the L after all of 5 or 6 minutes.
P.Tuipulotu and a platoon of Bekhuis/C.Retallick/The Trigonometer at the other lock should suffice.
Loosies Jerome Kaino, LUKE BRAID-WHITELOCK, and Steven Luatua = MURDER IN THE FACE. Hopefully the promising Joe Edwards at #8 comes right. Peter Saili is just slightly clueless back there. Brendon O’Connor will probably log massive minutes when one of the studs goes down injured after 45 seconds of Game 1 of the season.
The Auckland Blues backs of 2015 are, as usual, MURDER ON ICE.
And this time, finally it looks like there is a 1st 5/HB axis to initiate sequence start to countdown, trytime in the corner in 3, 2, 1... Bryn Hall and Ihaia West.
11 L. Visinia (the skill set: that being he is the only back who knows how to kick. ps, KICKING IS NOT IN THE GAMEPLAN THIS YEAR)
12 F.Saili (slayed in the BaaBaas game at Twickers)
13 George Moala (unstoppable. Tits for hands but still unstoppable.)
14 Frank Halai/Tevita Li (nowhere to run baby nowhere to hide)
15 Charles Piutau (Thanks for the memories, Israel Dagg)
ps, your average Auckland Blues fan by about Week 2:
Loved it!
waiopehu oldboy
George Smith (75)
May need to put the Paremoremo Jailbreak references back in the sack for a while in case the SIS's keyword search software gets the wrong idea:
http://www.stuff.co.nz/national/crime/64898166/george-moala-trial-night-of-brawl-recalled
Seriously though this looks ugly & unlikely to end well.
http://www.stuff.co.nz/national/crime/64898166/george-moala-trial-night-of-brawl-recalled
Seriously though this looks ugly & unlikely to end well.
waiopehu oldboy
George Smith (75)
Moala convicted of assault & remanded on bail for sentencing in May.
http://www.stuff.co.nz/national/crime/65110634/blues-player-george-moala-guilty-of-assault
Peter Saili granted an early, pretty much immediate release & off to France stat:
http://www.stuff.co.nz/sport/rugby/...-au-revoir-to-blues-after-signing-french-deal
http://www.stuff.co.nz/national/crime/65110634/blues-player-george-moala-guilty-of-assault
Peter Saili granted an early, pretty much immediate release & off to France stat:
http://www.stuff.co.nz/sport/rugby/...-au-revoir-to-blues-after-signing-french-deal
Dismal Pillock
Michael Lynagh (62)
May, that's about Round 12,
I dont know which is dumber, beating pricks up on K Rd or taking to the field with your pack of smokes still tucked inside your shirt sleeve. Yes, I know the scrum resets can take an eternity but ffs
waiopehu oldboy
George Smith (75)
May, that's about Round 12,not to worry Blues should have secured enough points for the playoffs by thenthey'll probably be rockbottom of the table and Moala would rather be tossing salad in cell block H than be seen in public with those unco psychos
Latest on Moala is that if he doesn't do jail time he'll get home detention so either way it's not expected that he'll be playing any footy this year.
http://www.stuff.co.nz/sport/rugby/...n-double-blow-ahead-of-the-super-rugby-season
Dismal Pillock
Michael Lynagh (62)
wft.
"Oh, would you like some milk and cookies with ALL OF MY SHIT?"
Did he raise his voice altogether too abruptly and perhaps irrepairably damage the poor lads psyche?
Peter should have invited his brother Francis around to scare the shit out of the little thieving prick. And call the Moala brothers around too while yer at it. And Jonah Takalua's dad.
Auckland Blues 2015. Giving new meaning to Dismal Pillock's jailbreak terminolgy.