Advisory Edicts For When Pfitzy Becomes A Ref

[Dismal Pillock]

offense: player entering the field of play with a manbun.
sanction: immediate yellow card. The offender has 10 minutes on the naughty chair to rid himself of the manbun. Failure to comply within the allotted time period will result in a red card.

offense: reserve players warming up by running around in the in-goal as play approaches.
sanction: penalty to the other team.

offense: reserve players warming up in the in-goal who mob their teammate after he scores a try.
sanction: cancellation of try and penalty try awarded to opposing team down the other end.

 

[Dismal Pillock]

offense: linesman putting his flag up at least 20 metres short of where the ball actually went out ffs.
sanction: Pfitzy rushes over to sideline, relieves linesman of flag, grabs ball, retakes kick himself, runs over to sideline, and puts flag up in correct place.

 

[Pfitzy]

Actually at the womens 7s the other week I penalised a team for their coach giving me lip from the sideline.

He was apologetic

 

[Pfitzy]

(I short armed them for feeding it straight into their side of the scrum - it was a hook shot!)

 

[Dismal Pillock]

offense: Instead of "Blue 12" etc, referee addressing star players by their first names, like they're all great pals or something.
sanction: n/a. Referee Pfitzy would never do this.

 

[Pfitzy]

offense: Instead of "Blue 12" etc, referee addressing star players by their first names, like they're all great pals or something.
sanction: n/a. Referee Pfitzy would never do this.

"Oi Fluffybunny" is the preferred nom de guerre

 

[Dismal Pillock]

offense: patting opposing player on the head after opponent has stuffed something up and try has been scored.
sanction: cancellation of try and penalty try awarded to opposing team down the other end.

 

[Pfitzy]

Not harsh enough:

sanction: immediate forfeit for unmitigated dickheadery

Fixed.

 

[Dismal Pillock]

Not harsh enough:

sanction: immediate forfeit for unmitigated dickheadery

Fixed.

"NZ forfeit 2027 Rugby World Cup Final after just 2 minutes when noted hollywood diver Sevu Reece attempts to rub his head against an opposing players hand in order to initiate TMO forfeiture proceedings. Referee Pfitzy instead adjudges Reece to have engaged in unsportsmanlike conduct and is left with "no recourse" other than to award the match to the opposing team, Australia."

 

[Dismal Pillock]

offense: defending lineout forward screaming like a little girl so opposing hooker can't hear the lineout calls.

sanction: immediate red card and offender escorted to stands where he has to read bedtime stories to random noisy little children in the stadium for remainder of rugby football match.

 

[Tomikin]

offense: defending lineout forward screaming like a little girl so opposing hooker can't hear the lineout calls.

sanction: immediate red card and offender escorted to stands where he has to read bedtime stories to random noisy little children in the stadium for remainder of rugby football match.

Was Nic White in the stand

 

[Tomikin]

"NZ forfeit 2027 Rugby World Cup Final after just 2 minutes when noted hollywood diver Sevu Reece attempts to rub his head against an opposing players hand in order to initiate TMO forfeiture proceedings. Referee Pfitzy instead adjudges Reece to have engaged in unsportsmanlike conduct and is left with "no recourse" other than to award the match to the opposing team, Australia."

Knowing @Pfitzy he would forfeit both teams and declare the NSW Waratahs World Cup winners and cancel all future World Cups leaving them Team Supreme

 

[Dismal Pillock]

Knowing @Pfitzy he would forfeit both teams and declare the NSW Waratahs World Cup winners and cancel all future World Cups leaving them Team Supreme

Imagine Pfitzy as RA CEO.....

- All players in Greater Sydney area conscripted to play for NSFW Waratahs. Like national service. 5 year minimum.

- All "Welcome to Country" speeches to be read by Pfitzy. Minimum speech length: 15 minutes.

- All Super Rugby/test match referees required to attend weekly "Pfitzy Review" sessions where they are publicly berated by Pfitzy for blown calls and, yes, physically beaten about the head and face.

- All visiting foreign players to be detained at Sydney airport until they sign forms agreeing to play for the NSFW Waratahs. 5 year minimum.

 

[Pfitzy]

Knowing @Pfitzy he would forfeit both teams and declare the NSW Waratahs World Cup winners and cancel all future World Cups leaving them Team Supreme

Now then - I'm a Wallabies supporter first and Waratahs second.

I believe we all come together in harmony once the gold is pulled on... unlike some people on here

 

[Pfitzy]

- All "Welcome to Country" speeches to be read by Pfitzy. Minimum speech length: 15 minutes.

I actually am in favour of leaving Welcome to Country the way it is.

Instead, once I ascend to Benevolent-Dictator-For-Life at Rugby Australia, at every Test match just after the anthems, I shall read from The Book of Grudges, outlining the crimes of administrators past, present, and anyone who has the slightest thought of emerging!

In this way the people will know how much I love them and the great game, and will fervently share my desire to ensure that we never stray from the path of righteousness again.

 

[Dismal Pillock]

I shall read from The Book of Grudges,

Jesus. Think you might need a more diplomatic name for that hoary great tome. "The People's History of Rugby In Australia" or some shit.

outlining the crimes of administrators past, present, and anyone who has the slightest thought of emerging!

On and on it goes. The children fidget. The womenfolk check their phones. The blokes scrunch up their faces and squint at the big screen wondering why the rugby football match hasn't started yet.

".....and another thing, if that prick Cyclo wants to make a play at the top job at the next general assembly I say fine, go for it, but bear in mind, I've got a bloke on retainer in Wollongong and Cyclo, you will not even see that white ute coming.....

 

[Tomikin]

Now then - I'm a Wallabies supporter first and Waratahs second.

I believe we all come together in harmony once the gold is pulled on... unlike some people on here

I think the same... I think Dismal does as well

 

[cyclopath]

Jesus. Think you might need a more diplomatic name for that hoary great tome. "The People's History of Rugby In Australia" or some shit.

On and on it goes. The children fidget. The womenfolk check their phones. The blokes scrunch up their faces and squint at the big screen wondering why the rugby football match hasn't started yet.

".....and another thing, if that prick Cyclo wants to make a play at the top job at the next general assembly I say fine, go for it, but bear in mind, I've got a bloke on retainer in Wollongong and Cyclo, you will not even see that white ute coming.....

Trevor will be so far in my wake, he won't see Shiggins coming........

 

[Dismal Pillock]

I think the same... I think Dismal does as well

 

[Pfitzy]

On and on it goes. The children fidget are spellbound. The womenfolk check their phones try to control their nascent carnal urges. The blokes scrunch up their faces and squint at the big screen wondering why the rugby football match hasn't started yet how they too can become like the man on the podium.

Fixed.