A test against the Boks wouldn’t be the same with a bit of good old fashioned niggle, and in that regard, Newlands didn’t disappoint. Here are a few highlights.
Skidmark vs Big Cliffy
Is there a man in world rugby more deserving of bitch-slapping than Skidmark You Puss-ey? His overdosing on angry pills before every game usually results in him playing push-shove wingers who aren’t looking. Last week though, he found himself with a very different sized opponent; Wycliffe Palu.
Poor Skidders sure looked happy when the touchie got in the way (and I don’t think it was the momentary arrival of James O’Connor that tipped the balance)
Shmoo vs Stain
The rugby world knows Stain is one of the most rattle-able players going and Wallaby hardman, Shmoo Mitchell, wasted no time in asserting his dominance over the hormonal teenager. Witness the vicious and reckless shove when Frans is on the ground. Where’s that citing commissioner??
Berrick Buns vs The Niggle Meister
Unlike pretenders like The Puss-ey, G&GR’s own Agony Aunt, Bakkies “Baby-Eater” Botha, is the jedi master of world rugby niggle. Not since Richard Loe have we seen a man so steeped in the dark arts.
First off, he lets his play do the talking by effecting the best hulk smash of the game on Aussie sook-face, Berrick Buns. However, our Bakkies isn’t content with leaving it at that. Like a young inmate in the showers for the first time, Berrick desperately tries to wriggle his way out of the big mans grasp. Bakkies however, gives his arm a little twist, pinning the golden haired Buns to the ground.
I doubt this was intended to physically harm poor Berrick, just remind him who’s the bitch in this relationship by not allowing him to regain his composure quite so quickly. Instinctive class from the Baby-Eater.
George vs The Ref
With Morty out for the count as Captain for the rest of the comp, it’s comforting to have a diplomat like George leading the team. Watch him tell the ref that he’s a dick in no uncertain terms, without uttering an insult.