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The Chewsday Chew

NuttaBy NuttaApril 10, 2023No Comments1 Views
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G’day Cobbers,

I hope this missive finds you all feeling unified and balanced as you come off the Easter weekend, clean out the car, pack away the tent, grease down your camp ovens and stow away the sleeping bags until the next sojourn into the scrub, or however you spent it.

Part of me wants to talk about the Reds. The poor buggers. Another part of me wants to let them go through the throes of agony in peace without another nosey bastard lifting the scabs and aggravating the sores. So, all I’m really going to say about the Pink Koalas is ‘where have all the children gone?’.

The Reds have produced a steady stream of really talented footy players over the last few years in particular and yet they seem to just have so very little to offer. Now to be fair, against the Donkeys, Matty Faessler continued to impress, Seru Uru was indefatigable, Liam Wright was enormous, Harry was just Harry (although with a couple of uncharacteristic handling errors), Jordy Petaia had a great match and Tate gave EJ an enormous two-fingered salute with a great game capped off by that ripper of a 55m solo try. But aside from those half dozen who had a dig, the rest of the side was just, well, anonymous. So I have to ask, what happened to all the talent?

OK, they have real issues at tighthead because they were so over-reliant on Tupou for so long. And they have real troubles in the locks (of which they’ve produced many of late) meaning a fantastic loosie like Uru has to spend all his energy away from where he’s best. But aside from that, they really should be performing better than they are. And again, to be fair, they were right in the match up to the 40min mark. But that red-time 1st half Donkey try just split them open, broke their hearts and from there it was effectively over.

The thing is though, Queenslanders never lack guts (OK, they may lack genetic diversity, but never guts) and whether you like Thorny or not, he does understand the game. So what’s the deal?

However, of equal interest to me of late has been the rise and rise of Italian rugby. Remember that in the last 12 months, their national side has recorded wins against both Wales and Australia. In this year’s 6 Nations U20 Championship, while they were beaten by England and Ireland, they only went down 27-28 to a hugely talented France and put together a 29-25 win over Wales and a 40-17 win over Scotland.

And this weekend just gone, Benetton beat Cardiff 27-23 in the quarter finals of the Challenge Cup and in doing so became the first Italian team to ever make the semi-finals of a European tournament. After knocking over the Sale Sharks the weekend before, the plucky Italian side were down 20-23 with 5min to go when Benetton nudged ahead via a Marcus Watson bit of wizardry as he juggled away at a ball before dotting down in the corner for a try which Tomas Albornoz duly converted to post the score at 27-23. This forced Cardiff to have to score more than a penalty to win. And to their credit, the Cardiff side surely brought the pressure with lineouts and scrums and a glut of attacking possession hard on the Benetton line, all of which was defended heartily through to the final whistle.

They have a massive test coming this weekend with semi-final trip to Toulon, but win, lose or draw, Benetton have created a little bit of history. Forza Azzurri!

Nutta’s Super XXIII

Here we are again and the rules to selection remain nice and simple:

  1. Selection is for one week only and based on last game only. There are no cumulative results. Reputation means nothing. Each week is a clean slate.
  2. If you played for an Aussie Super team last week, then you can be selected. You can be Wobbly eligible or not, as that isn’t really relevant.

As ever, I’m open to healthy discourse on who made the cut (or didn’t) and where I differ from EJ.

Now to begin with, given the short round, the loss by the Rebel Scum and the absolute dominance of the Donkeys over the Pinkos, my starting presumption is to name the Donkeys XXIII and strip away where someone else deserved a trot. So here goes:

Nutta’s Aussie Super XXIII:

  1. James Slipper – Just dominated stuff around the ground and almost bagged another pie.
  2. Matty Faessler – Represented well. Did the meat & potatoes reliably. Played with guts.
  3. Allan Alaalatoa – Also just dominated stuff around the ground.
  4. Nick Frost – Some really smart play and a meat pie earnt a jersey.
  5. Cadeyrn Neville – Continues to impress.
  6. Liam Wright – Composed, poised and led from the front.
  7. Pete Samu – Continues to be all class.
  8. Bobby Valetini – As imposing as ever.
  9. Tate McDermott – If that wasn’t a ‘pluck yew’ at EJ, then I don’t know what is (perhaps EJ’s plan?).
  10. Noah Lolesio – Again, why is he not in the Wobbs? Somebody? Anybody?
  11. Jordan Petaia – Had some fantastic touches and seems to be maturing (kiss of death there).
  12. Reece Hodge – I thought he was really solid at 12 and in this case his utility shows through.
  13. Len Ikitau – Sticky remains the pick of Aussie 13s for mine.
  14. Andy Muirhead – Continues to work really hard, especially off the ball.
  15. Andrew Kellaway – Had a solid game and reminded a few of his talent.
  16. Lachlan Lonergan – Didn’t do much wrong and for an Aussie 2 right now, that’s noticeable.
  17. Cabous Eloff – Really went hard at it against Nepo Laulala (no slouch) and was heavily involved around the ground.
  18. Rhys vNek – This guy is the goods, he really is. And he deserves more recognition than he’s getting.
  19. Seru Uru – The guy deserves acknowledgement for just being in everything all night. He had a massive shift.
  20. Harry Wilson – Some uncharacteristic handling errors, but his running game, while predictable, is carrying the Reds.
  21. Ryan Lonergan – Played really well, but Tate pushed him to the pine.
  22. Carter Gordon – Continues to be irrepressible.
  23. Joe Pinkus – Had quite a solid game with some nice involvements at fullback for the Scum.

Player of the Round 

Part of me wants to just nominate the Benetton XXIII for making Italian rugby history. But for mine, this week the Player of the Round is split between the Welsh pair of Phil Blakoe and Aled Davies. Flint RFC’s Tighthead Aled Davies is 61yrs young while Bala Rugby’s loosehead Phil Blakoe is 67yrs young and so when they met head to head on 20 February 2023, they posted a combined propping age of 128yrs. The two have faced off against each other for over 40yrs apparently but on this day, Flint won the match 24-17. However in the club house afterwards, Blakoe was allegedly heard to be needling that the real score was 1-0 to him on account of a tighthead scrum win.

Llongyfarchiadau mawr! Full balls to the both of you lads.

So there’s something to chomp on while you contemplate the return to work. Am I right? Am I wrong? Is Queensland on the cusp of an earth-shattering return to form? Will the Azzurri ever win the World Cup? Has Rhys van Nek actually got a neck? Or is Dane Coles really a nice guy and just seriously misunderstood?

Let me know your thoughts in the comments below.

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Nutta

Underfed front-rower with no speed or ball skills. Started playing footy in the 70's and still going. Can't remember the last time I passed on a ball, beer or karaoke mike. Motto - "Meat and potatoes first. Then gravy. And you don't put gravy on the plate first Boy."

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