Greetings one, greetings all and welcome to another Friday’s Rugby News. No time for chit-chat, so let’s hook in with ‘The Sky is Falling’. Drop into the smash repairers and discuss SRP #3 in ‘Ferrari Busted’. Run an eye over SRW #1 with ‘It’s Go Time’. Get some personal hygiene tips at ‘Shove ya Dove‘. Before rounding out a bumper Friday with ‘Friday’s Goss with Hoss’, pointing out that those Chinese war ships were live firing towards New Zealand. Just saying.
The sky is falling.
You know what Gaggers, I reckon enough is just about enough.
How boring, lazy, jaded and just completely wrong are the constant reports of Australian rugby’s imminent death. Each time a player, or in this case, a talented, but emerging coach, signs for an overseas club it surely spells the end of rugby in Australia as we know it. And it must prove that all our pathways are broken, our systems flawed and our administrators incompetent. The latest such piece, and the inspiration for this story from the usual suspect on another rugby site, is yet another dirge of dreary, digital tabloid dross.
It’s a ‘sky is falling’ sentiment along the lines of the other tired and tortured arguments, ‘pathways are broken’, ‘rugby in crisis’, ‘RA are fools’, ‘we should be a domestic competition only’, and on and on and on it goes.
But guess what? Despite the rugby doomsday preppers the game in Oz is actually resurgent. And bugger me sideways, I’d even call it strong, both on and off the field. Let’s stop for a minute and look around the current rugby landscape in Australia and see at what’s happening at the moment:
- Player retention programs are in place. They involve RA and flexible contracts. They involve RA actively engaging with OS clubs over a number of key KPI for such contracts
- Their is a High Performance structure that’s well advanced and shows clear succession planning is in place. Not only at the highest levels, but they are actively and urgently identifying and targeting our future talent as well (as evidenced with our U20s) and have even identified players from U17 and U14 levels.
- Our women are now on a professional footing. They’re well funded and well supported.
- There’s development of a third tier competition being workshopped.
- SRP and its new ‘commission’ have plans afoot for a recalibrated SRP that will bring the Japanese (and their rivers of yen) inside the tent.
- A guaranteed $100 million dollar payment for hosting the ’27 RWC.
- A talent scout on RA payroll for Western Sydney and much more.
Is RA perfect? Well no, they ain’t no Friday’s Rugby News, but sure as spit they’re vastly improved and improving still.
I’d agree that as far as they’ve come, they still have as far to go again. But can we put down the guns for a while and perhaps engage in a ceasefire? Can we judge RA on what it is doing and does in this moment instead of relentless and pointless bashings about mistakes and personalities of the past? And can we park the ‘sky is falling mentality’ each time a player, coach or administrator pursues an OS career change or experience? I mean, god forbid they come back better at their craft! That’s never happened before, has it? Oh, wait a minute.
For too long, too many have wanted to beat RA and the code in general over many a poor decision of yore. Yet those same individuals are completely, maybe even willingly oblivious to improvements that are happening occurring right in front of our collective noses.
Rugby in Oz, as Happyman so eloquently puts it, is a net exporter of talent. Always was, always will be. But if we can harness that and develop flexible and smart policies around that, then surely we are all winners. The continued, morbid fascination with past mistakes as a sure sign of pending future mistakes is pointless. The ‘end is nigh’ journalism each time somebody in the Oz rugby universe moves offshore is old, it’s boring. And it’s a bit like going home today and smacking your dog for piddling on the carpet last week; it might make you feel better to berate the dog for past poor behaviour, but as for the dog? Well, it just thinks you’re a miserable arsehole.
‘Ferrari’ Busted.
It’s round 3 of SRP and call me premature (Mrs Hoss does) but the quality of the play and the closeness of the contests has been the best in an age. Perhaps I’m looking through my green and gold tinted glasses, but the Aussie teams and their performances of 2024 seem a faded, distant memory.
You can find all the team in Thursday’s Rugby News with Happyman.
Friday 28 February 5:05 pm AEDT – Moana Pasifika v Highlanders at North Harbour Stadium, Auckland. Stan Sport
Moana Pasifika have been much improved this year despite being 0-2. They look much leaner, fitter and have some unearthed some fine young talent with pace, size and skill to burn. But, they still leaked 56 points last week, albeit to a very good Reds side.
The Landers were pipped at the post by Australia’s premier side in round #1, then rolled the Blues in round #2, a result I don’t thing anyone on G&GR picked.
Fearless Prediction: I’d love to pick MP to cheer the underdog, but the shot of confidence and belief the Highlanders must have got last week will see them get the job done. Highlanders by 21.
Friday 28 February 7:35 pm AEDT – NSW Waratahs v Fijian Drua at Allianz Stadium. Stan Sport
Beware the wounded Drua. Perhaps a tad unlucky last week to lose in NZ, the Drua have had to go Fiji-NZ- Aus to start the season and perhaps this week is a bridge too far for the flamboyant Fijians.
Having said that, with Dan McKellar’s ‘Ferrari’, Joseph Suallii broken and in the workshop, there’re a few changes to the Tahs backline. However, it’s in the forwards that I think the Tahs will establish their bona fides and the Dove users out wide will determine the margin. Although I’ll state the bye the Tahs had after one game might just make things a tad closer than I’d like.
Round #1 I thought the Tahs loosies were outstanding. Clubba Langi Gleeson could be anything if he ever learns to catch. Rob Leota was immense and The Gambler was effective and delivered quality work. The team got 55 minutes from The Abattoir and The Bull just eats metres for fun with ball in hand. As Nutta pointed out, now Bell has his set piece sorted I reckon he’ll be the world’s best prop within next 2-3 years.
For all of that, it was the Tahs sex workers who were my joint MotM last week. Porky Porecki and Mahe Vailanu were awesome across the paddock. Set piece purred, turnovers were made and quality ball provided for the fairies. If the two rakes can play like that again this could get ugly, real ugly for Fiji.
Fearless Prediction: Tahs by 32
Saturday 1 March 2:35 pm AEDT – Chiefs v ACT Brumbies, FMG Stadium Waikato, Hamilton. Stan Sport
Will the real ACT Brumbies please stand up?
From fighting back against Fiji in Fiji, to going behind 28-0 to the Force at home to finally surrendering against the Force in a very unBrumby Brumby performance that included a scrum win to the Force against the feed. Not only that, it was against a seven men Force pack, 5 metres out from the Force line with the game in the balance! From there the Ponies rolled over and played dead. Just like their high country, feral namesakes.
This week doesn’t get any easier when the ACT side take on the ladder topping, early season pace setters, the Chiefs. The Chiefs have picked up where they ended last season. Playing with pace, precision and power and with D-Mac chiming in from #15 to create mayhem among opposition Ds.
The Brumbies will need their experienced Wallaby stars to stand up to be any chance in this one. Last week I thought Charlie Cale was outstanding (we’re blessed with options for 6, 7 and 8 in gold at present) and the debut of Declan Meredith was terrific as well. But, playing a white hot Chiefs in Waikickamoocow is something they really need to be up for from the start.
Fearless Prediction: Start strong and graft it out. Or get behind and get blown away. What really stood out for me was the lack of forward carries up the guts due to injury to Sideshow Bob and he’s not back for the Ponies this weekend either. Maybe a long year for the Brumbies. Perhaps they’re the new Rebels? Chiefs by 25.
Saturday 1 March 5:05 pm AEDT – Hurricanes v Blues at SKY Stadium, Wellington. Stan Sport
Fearless Prediction: Canes by 13. Blues are hopeless.
Saturday 1 March 7:35 pm AEDT – Western Force v Queensland Reds at HBF Park, Perth. Stan Sport
Match of the round for mine and two and evenly matched sides as far as early season form goes. With plenty of a game within a game match ups, as possible and probable Wallabies square off.:
- Dolly v Faessler
- Tizzano v McReight
- White v McDermott
- Donaldson v Lynagh
- Stewart v Flook
- Pietsch v Daugunu
The match also sees the much awaited return of Liam Wright via the pine, and we all wish him an injury free return. I like the way he plays.
Fearless Prediction: There’s little arguing the strength of the Reds roster. But I can’t shake the feeling that the Force have grown exponentially this year. They stay in the hunt and have learnt how to win the close ones. Plus they are more battle hardened with three on the trot. Whereas the Reds had a comfortable win and hit-out against MP last week. but maybe weren’t tested like the Force will test them? Force by 5.
It’s go time!
SRW kicks off this weekend and Stan has all your coverage. With many players jumping ships, the demise of the Rebels and the pending injection of some 7s star power, this season is one I really can’t wait to watch.
Friday 28 February 5:05 pm AEDT – NSW Waratahs v Fijian Drua at Allianz Stadium, Sydney, ad-free, live and on demand on Stan Sport
A replay of the 2024 SRW final kicks us off tonight, with the reigning but somewhat depleted 2024 champs facing the always dangerous Fijiana in Sydney. The big question mark for me is just how much will the Tahs miss Eva Karpani who, for reasons only known to her, left NSW for the QPRQ (I know, I can’t fathom it either). A lot of the quality ball the Tahs enjoyed last season was on the back of some of the inspirational runs by this outstanding prop. Also missing is the uber consistent Layne Morgan, who has also gone to the Reds. Karpani I can shrug off, but Layne’s a Newcastle kid who should know better.
Emily Chancellor (love how she plays the game) will skipper the Tahs and look for former AFLW Sydney Swans player, Tiarne Cavanagh, to get a start at #9. Can’t wait to see her kicking game.
Fiji, well they’re notoriously slow starters to most seasons and one feels that this will be no different. Especially so as early season preparations were disrupted while they sorted their ‘gay problem’, as reported on bbc.com/news.
Then Director of Rugby, Laijipa Naulivou, apparently ran subliminal gayness tests on the players by booming out Kylie Minogue songs while the team trained all the while looking for signs from those who either tapped their feet, broke into a mild shimmy or an exaggerated and uncontrolled reflex boogie. Similarly, if a player could be heard telling team mates that Kylie was under-appreciated and was in fact a ‘really, really, good singer’, then they too were called to the then director’s office for discussions.
That aside, the team that can settle into this match first, establish their patterns of play and hold their discipline will get the spoils.
Fearless Prediction: That team will be the Tahs and by 18. I’m spinning around, move out of my way.
WARATAHS (1-15): Emily Robinson, Millie Parker, Bridie O’Gorman, Kaitlan Leaney, Annabelle Codey, Ruby Anderson, Emily Chancellor (c), Leilani Nathan, Tiarne Cavanagh, Katrina Barker, Amelia Whitaker, Nicole Nathan, Georgina Friedrichs, Maya Stewart, Waiaria Ellis
Replacements: Adiana Talakai, Siusiuosalafai Volkman, Falika Pohiva, Jayjay Taylor, Anahera Hamahona, Tatum Bird, Jade Sheridan, Jacinta Windsor
DRUA (1-15): Salaniete Nabuli, Keleni Marawa, Vika Matarugu (c), Mereoni Nakesa, Asinate Serevi, Salaseini Railumu, Karalaini Naisewa, Kolora Lomani, Salanieta Kinita, Alowesi Nakoci, Josivini Naihamu, Vitalina Naikore, Repeka Tova, Luisa Tisolo
Replacements: Isabella Koi, Loraini Senivutu, Anasimeci Korovata, Ema Adivitaloga, Bitila Tawake, Evivi Senikarivi, Litiana Vueti, Merewairita Neivosa
Saturday 1 March 5:05 pm AEDT – Western Force v ACT Brumbies at HBF Park, Perth, ad-free, live and on demand on Stan Sport
Look out for the Force side to be much improved this season and be at the pointy end come finals time. Say what you will, but the Force organisation seem to have a solid rugby program humming over that way. Granted, there’s sweet FA else to do in Perth, but still, there’s a lot to like.
With 10 players making their Force debuts, including Wallaroos Allana Sikimeti, Sera Naiqama, Ashley Marsters and Cecilia Smith . Add to that Fijian Olympic Sevens starlet Adi Vani Buleki who’ll make her Super Rugby W debut. You get my point about their rugby program.
I have to say, I don’t know a whole heap about the Brumbies side outside of Siokapesi Palu, Faitala Moleka (a rising star if ever there was) and their blockbusting #8, Tabua Tuinakauvadra.
Coach Andy Friend has named a total of six new faces in his matchday 23, but I just don’t think it’ll be enough to get the win.
Fearless Prediction: Force by 17.
FORCE (1-15): Allana Sikimeti, Hera-Barb Malcolm Heke, Braxton Walker, Sera Naiqama, Michaela Leonard, Tamika Jones, Anneka Stephens, Ashley Marsters, Georgia Cormick, Grace Freeman, Brooklyn Teki Joyce, Trilleen Pomare (c), Cecilia Smith, Adi Vani Buleki, Sheree Hume
Replacements: Loretta Mailangi, Megumi Takagi, Alapeta Ngauamo, Libya Teepa, Pia Tapsell, Ana Afuie, Nicole Ledington, Sammy Treherne
BRUMBIES (1-15): Lydia Kavoa, Tania Naden, Iroha Kishimoto, Ashley Fernandez, Easter Savelio, Siokapesi Palu (c), Chioma Enyi, Tabua Tuinakauvadra, Ella Ryan, Faitala Moleka, Charlie Brigstocke, Merania Paraone, Harmony Ioane, Biola Dawa, Kyah Little
Replacements: Katalina Amosa, Martha Fua, Hannah Stewart, Lily Bone, Jess Grant, Bonnie Brewer, Manua Moleka, Gabrielle Petersen
Development Game: Queensland Reds v Penina Pasifika, Saturday, 3:05 pm (AEST) at Ballymore Stadium
With no match for the Reds this week they will take on the Penina Pasifika side at Ballymore.
REDS (1-15): Bree-Anna Browne, Cristo Taufua, Jiowana Sauto, Tiarah Minns, Deni Ross, Jemma Bemrose (cc), Carola Kreis, Zoe Hanna, Layne Morgan, Carys Dallinger, Ivania Wong (cc), Ariana Hira, Mel Wilks, Piper Flynn, Lori Cramer
Reserves: Tiarna Molloy, Sky-Yvette Faimalie, Charli Jacoby, Vineta Teutau, Dillyn Blackburn, Sarah Riordan, Maraea Tupai, Sarah Dougherty, Faythe Manera, Michelle Curry, Renae Nona
Shove ya Dove.
You have to love modern corporate sponsorship parlance, don’tcha?
In good news for RA coffers on Wednesday it was announced on nathanwilliamsonlive.com.au that Dove Men+Care would be the ‘personal care product of choice’ for the Lions & Wallabies series. I mean WTF? ‘Personal care product of choice’! That’s flowery jargon for washing the sweat from places we don’t talk about, isn’t it?
Not only that, but to ‘celebrate’ this incredible breakthrough, Dove is launching a bespoke (ie, more expensive because it’s branded) product, including (wait for it) 72 hour deodorant, 48 hour deodorant and body wash.
I get the 72 hour and 48 hour anti-stink spray. That ties in with the scientifically proven bathing frequency of those from up north who will follow the FUKIRs down under. And trust me, the only thing worse than sitting next to a rancid Pom at the rugby is sitting next to a South African anywhere. As for the body wash? OK, I get calling it ‘sack soap’, ‘sausage sparkle’ or ‘crack cleanser’ (no sexism on Friday’s Rugby News, all are catered for) doesn’t have the same marketing oomph, which is more the shame. No doubt topknot wearing baristas all around Australia are probably giddy with excitement in anticipation of the glistening genitalia that use of these ‘bespoke products’ will surely deliver.
Personal care product of choice? Bah humbug! Give me some baking soda, elbow length rubber gloves, medicinal vodka and a medium bristle brush and I’ll show you clean. A long lasting clean at that.
Anyway, well done RA. Bank the coin and use it wisely.
Friday’s Goss with Hoss.
Kitshoff pissthoffed.
The greatest compliment I can give the newly retired SA prop, Steven Kitshoff, is that I didn’t have the overriding emotion to punch him in the face like I do when I see/hear most nearly all South Africans. So it was disappointing to read of his retirement from rugby, effective immediately, to prevent potential and significant future issues should he play on.
No doubt he made the sensible choice. After all, two RWC winner’s medals and a Lions series victory is a fair rugby career. Here’s to his good health and happiness in retirement. Well played, Steven.
Munster mash.
It seems good form is also good currency for a coach’s CV. Yesterday, Irish side Munster announced the appointment of current Chiefs coach Clayton McMillan on a three year contract. McMillian will replace current coach and five time recipient for ‘ugliest ears on the planet’ award, Graham Rowntree, at the end of this year’s SRP when they lose to the Tahs in one of the semi-finals.
While we’re up north: Ireland sucks.
Don’t shoot the messenger. None other than BOD said as much on planetrugby.com
‘Rugby still touches people’.
A ‘resurgent England’ (apparently 2 from 7 is resurgent in the UK. Wales must be almost ‘white hot’ by that rationale?) can create scenes ‘akin to Manchester United winning the Premier League‘. So says Newcastle Falcons Director of Rugby, Steve Diamond, on planetrugby.com.
Now, I don’t follow snooker any more (well, not since Eddie Charlton called time) so I’m unfamiliar with this ‘Premier League’ Mr Diamond mentions. But if two from seven is enough to see the average Pommy fan start fiddling with the ‘pink ball in the corner pocket’, who am I to disagree.
Overdue credit.
Both the name of my band and a statement of fact. For those who haven’t watched it yet you really must tune in for Stan’s excellent new rugby show, ‘Inside Line’. Hosted by Dove user, Michael Atkinson with the SMH’s Iain Payten and Tim somebody, the show is terrific. It’s even more so by Nick ‘The Bovine Sprinkler’ Phipps. In a stroke of shite luck for Phipps (he’s done his ACL and is out for the season) it’s a win for Aussie rugby fans. He’s insightful, warm, engaging, he talks a lot of sense and gives great insight into the mentality of current rugby players around competitions, governance, contract considerations and more. Sure the show is only two weeks old, but it’s a rugby doozy and Archie, if you’re reading, more of NP please.
From the archives.
When looking for a few photos this week I stumbled across this doozy in the G&GR archives. Funny then, dangerous now. I dare you to play it this weekend, let me know the results.
Fantasy reminder.
Don’t forget to get you picks in for Round #3 of G&GR SRP Fantasy League this week. After two rounds we have a clear leader. Can anyone catch ‘Big Maso’ or is he, as suspected, a sprinter and not a galloper?
Until next week. Go the Tahs.
Hoss -out
