All-Time Crim 1st XV

[Dismal Pillock]

with big George Moala looking at some Rodeo in Joliet time it got me wondering, who would make the All-Time Crim 1st XV? During or post-career. Quade with the laptop? Beale thumping teammates in the pub? There must be worse than that. How about that french forward from a few years back who shot his wife? He'd have to be a shoo-in. Any more?

some starting nominees

1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8 Sione Luaaki (trashing motel room?)
9
10 Q.Cooper (laptop)
11 Zac Guildford (naked pissing and beating up an old bloke in Rarotonga)
12
13 G.Moala
14
15 K.Beale

bit of crystal ball gazing.......


Moala Brothers drop the ball again.

--NZ Herald--

Jan 18th 2020

The Moala brothers have again run afoul of the law, this time with a botched bank heist in sunny downtown Auckland. First, tits-for-hands George clumsily dropped his gun immediately upon entering the premises. Then his brother tried to toss George his gun but George dropped that too. Then George tried to pick up some money but his hands let him down again and he dropped the money all over the place and then the cops came in.

"Quick hands George, oh shit not that quick."

 

[Forcefield]

Elton Flatley was done for drink driving a couple of years back.

Pretty sure someone who used to play for the Bulls in Currie Cup attacked someone with an axe. A front rower maybe?

Weakest thing I ever heard was back in about 2007. An Auckland Blues player was in court for beating up his wife or girlfriend (can't remember which). Apparently dragged her down the street by her hair. Anthony Tuitavake helped him to create a diversion at the court house so that the media couldn't find out who the guilty party was.

Surely Jimmy Cowan fits in somewhere? If not, Matt Henjak could fit in for punching Haig Sare in the face.

Willie Ripia for stealing from team mates at the Force?

Didn't a Brumbies player beat up a taxi driver a while back?

 

[The_Brown_Hornet]

Marc Cecillon was the French player convicted of murdering his wife and has to make the first XV. Doesn't get a lot worse than that! He can play eight (bloody good player he was too).

 

[Dismal Pillock]

Cecillon, of course, Jesus he would have to be the captain

Ripia, oh God, what was that all about, instantly supplants Quade at 1st 5, sorry Quade, 1 laptop might get you on the bench.

first Ive heard of that Auck Blues story, of course I don't believe a single word of it, all lies, suing Forcefield for public defamation

has Cowan ever been busted for anything?

Whos "Haig Sare" when he's not an anagram gone horribly awry?

Mils Miliaina a go for pissing in Parnell bar?

Doug Howlett jumping on cars post world cup exit?

Flatley and drink driving,i dunno if that'll get him a spot, they all do that don'tthey? Kaino busted a few years back too.

Yeah I remmeber the bok with the axe story too, who was that? And more importantly if he was just a crap unknown player wielding an axe can he make the 1st XV?

1 Keith Murdock (one ill-fated punch in a kitchen in 1662...... tenuous.....)
2
3
4
5
6 Sione Luaaki (trashing motel room?)
7
8 Marc Cecillon (performing the eternal willie-away on own wife)
9
10 W.Ripia (looting own team dressing room haha)
11 Zac Guildford (naked pissing and beating up an old bloke in Rarotonga)
12
13 G.Moala
14 Declan O'Donnell (belting someone in Palmy?)
15 K.Beale

 

[Wilson]

Pocock at 7 with the (c)

 

[brokendown]

1--Keith murdoch,decked a bouncer in the Angel hotel,Cardiff 1973,subsequently sent home from the tour-but never made it-jumped off the plane in Brisbane & has never(as far as I know)returned to NZ

 

[Wilson]

Also Dan Crowley reprising his role as Undercover Prop

 

[Bullrush]

Robin Brooke and Keith Robinson at locks?

 

[Chris McCracken]

Wendell? Digby?

Willie Anderson nicked a flag on tour in Argentina. Caused a stink, apparently.

Basteraud had that issue in NZ. Not sure if criminal. But it landed him in a psych ward.

 

[I like to watch]

Bees Roux?
Bashed a policeman to death a few years ago.

 

[Dismal Pillock]

Didnt Bastereud throw himself into a table or somemthing? Not good enough! Needs more criminality.

Pocock at 7 with the (c)

oh shit, opening some sort of ethical crim/non crim can of worms there haha

what was D.Crowley's charge?

Troy Flavell got up to some rotten shit too, a few stompings from what I remember. Any actual off-field charges?

1 Keith Murdock (one ill-fated punch in a kitchen in 1662.. tenuous...)
2
3
4 K.Robinson (numerous beatings in and around the greater Te Awamutu area?)
5 R.Brooke (trying to root some kid up in the islands or soemthing?)
6 Sione Luaaki (trashing motel room?)
7 D.Pocock: being a tree-hugging hippie
8 Marc Cecillon: performing the eternal willie-away on own wife
9
10 W.Ripia (looting own team dressing room haha)
11 Zac Guildford (naked pissing and beating up an old bloke in Rarotonga)
12
13 G.Moala
14 Declan O'Donnell (belting someone in Palmy?)
15 K.Beale

 

[Braveheart81]

Former Tonga and Manly Marlins player John Payne did prison time for crippling someone in a bar fight.

Pretty sure Cliff Palu did weekend detention for assault.

The Kiwi winger just signed by the Force, Mitchell Scott was convicted of assault.

 

[wamberal]

John Ryan played club rugby (for Gordon), switched to loig, and then was busted for an attempted armed hold-up.

 

[Wilson]

what was D.Crowley's charge?

No charge, he was a police officer while playing and regularly went undercover to bust drug rings, even while on tour: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dan_Crowley

strictly speaking not a crim, but he can certainly play the role. Probably worth having him there to keep the rest in line.

 

[Forcefield]

Didn't jerry collins get caught in possession of two big fuck off knives in japan?

 

[I like to watch]

Springbok 21's & Bulls flanker Joseph Ntshongwana killed 3 with an axe.
Springbok lock Rudi Virage shot and killed his 19 yo daughter.

 

[Dismal Pillock]

Springbok 21's & Bulls flanker Joseph Ntshongwana killed 3 with an axe.

POCOCK BENCHED

Springbok lock Rudi Virage shot and killed his 19 yo daughter.

Usurps K.Robinson.
R.Brooke retains place by virtue of attempted kid rooting being a worse crime than engaging in numerous beatings in and around the greater Te Awamutu area iHomo

1 Keith Murdock (one ill-fated punch in a kitchen in 1662.. tenuous.)
2
3 Bees Roux: cop killer
4 Rudi Virage: shot and killed his 19 yo daughter.
5 R.Brooke (trying to root some kid up in the islands or soemthing?)
6 Sione Luaaki (trashing motel room?)
7 Joseph Ntshongwana: killed 3 with an axe
8 Marc Cecillon: performing the eternal willie-away on own wife
9
10 W.Ripia (looting own team dressing room haha)
11 Zac Guildford (naked pissing and beating up an old bloke in Rarotonga)
12
13 G.Moala
14 Declan O'Donnell (belting someone in Palmy?)
15 K.Beale

Bench

D.Pocock.

 

[Brumby Runner]

Scott Fava for animal cruelty?

 

[formerflanker]

Tim Bristow, Private Investigator.
Banned from rugby for life in 1962 for knocking out 8 opposing players.
Notorious enforcer. Had a book written about him - Bristow: Last of the Hard Men. Served time in Berrima Jail.
Best quotes:
"I had the biggest divorce inquiry service in Australia, breaking down about eight doors a night."

"I bribed police for 40 years. I found that the higher I went in society the lower the morals became."
PS I remember John Payne as a centre for Manly.

 

[HighPlainsDrifter]

I suppose the positive thing is it seems a bit of a battle to fill up the spots , may be interesting to see a league list (they tend to prefer group events) and possibly cricket which would veer more towards betting and also AFL . The takeaway for many is being a dickhead is not a crime ...more the pity .